There Was No Mueller Probe When Sessioms Became AG


Why is Trump bitching and moaning about AG Jeff Sessions not revealing
that he would recuse himself from Mueller probe?   Well, other than that he’s a
chronic whiner and complainer, that is.

How could Sessions, have told Trump he would recuse himself before he
accepted Trump’s offer of the Attorney General post? Trump offered him the
job in November, 2016. Trump took office in January, 2017. Mueller was
appointed Special Counsel in May, 2017, months after Trump and Sessions
were sworn in to their new positions..

We all know Trump is incapable of any sort of analytical thinking. But
shouldn’t someone–anyone–in the media be able to do the math? Is it
too much to ask that they look at a damn calendar?  The media just does a
knee jerk response and reports all the Trump whining about Sessions
without even bothering to look at the simple underlying fact. There was no
Mueller investigation until months after Sessions took office. The media
know Trump’s a liar. They know he’s a chronic whiner/crybaby. So why
accept his version of events without even taking the simple act of looking at
a calendar?

Why would Sessions even think to discuss recusal from the Mueller probe
when he was being considered for AG, when there was no Mueller
investigation?

Anyone? Anyone? Can I get an answer here?

I’m not sure who I find more disgusting–Trump, who’s too lazy to do his job, or the lazy media who are too lame to do their jobs.

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Fox News Says-Post Conviction–Michael Cohen Didn’t Violate Campaign Laws


Fox News, via its contributor Hans A. von Spakovsky, says Michael Cohen
did not violate federal campaign finance laws. No kidding.

(Hans A. von Spakovsky; “Michael Cohen and Trump did NOT violate
campaign finance law – despite Cohen’s guilty plea; Hans A. von
Spakovsky; |Fox News;’
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2018/08/31/michael-cohen-and-trump-did
-not-violate-campaign-finance-law-despite-cohens-guilty-plea.html)

I repeat, this guy Spakovsky says Michael Cohen, who just pleaded guilty to violating campaign laws, “did NOT violate campaign finance law”.

Ummm, Cohen’s been convicted of violation of campaign finance laws by a
federal court!

Who ya gonna believe regarding Cohen’s conviction–Fox News or a federal
court of law?

It’s like in the Wizard of OZ– when the jig is up and Frank Morgan as the
Wizard is revealed behind the curtain as a charlatan using, essentially smoke
and mirrows to convince fatuous ninnies. His lame response upon
discovery was “don’t look at that man behind the curtain”.

Yeah, don’t believe your eyes, or empirical fact, just blindly accept Fox
News’ version of reality.

Maybe Trump’s not the only Russian agent in our country. Maybe Rupert
Murdoch is one as well.

Kim, Trump Dance the Tubby Tyrant Two-Step


So, I’ve been watching the tyrants de jour, Trump and Kim, waddling around on the international stage, waltzing, pirouetting, preening and smirking in self-congratulation. Glorying in undeserved attention, they positively glow while basking in the limelight.

Kim’s contributions to the pair’s pseudo dialogues are generally not reported, only paraphrased or ignored, but there are plenty of images of him.  Trump more than makes up for that dearth of acoustic information, braying one inane and/or offensive remark after another, with all the bombast he can muster.

To protect my delicate sensibilities, a lot of the time I watch them on the news with the sound off, and then try to figure out what’s really happening. It provides some relief from the irritation of being forced to watch alleged “journalists” confine their news reporting to reading Trump tweets. Apparently the pithy–and often incomprehensible–things that come out of our president’s thumbs are the only thing that USA journalism considers “news” these days.

Kim’s overweeniigng self-regard comes through like a shining aura–of fecal effluvia.  And our president matches him, mouth-fart for mouth-fart.  (My term for blowing out one’s mouth what should be coming out of an ass.)

But there is a certain amount of (unworthy) amusement to the macabre tyrant and tyrant wannabe dance. At first I called it–to myself of course–the two-fattie waddle, sort of a gross variant on the old custom of cake walks.

And what does it all add up to?  Why just what Will Shakespeare said a long time ago–A tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.  Well, except maybe a warning to sane people who’d rather not see nuclear weapons being lobbed around the planet because two spoiled, seemingly insane, a-holes want to prove their manhood by blowing stuff up.

And meanwhile the doomsday clock ticks.

 

When Fat Donnie Met Vlad the Shark


I imagine Vlad must have been grinding his teeth in frustration after two
hours of listening to Trump.  Possibly Putin was thinking he’d just get
undercover agent Trump’s secret report–the reason why no one else could
be there–and be on his way.  Not so fast Bub, the piper must be paid.

We’ve all noticed the president’s inability to generate well-formed,
grammatically correct, simple declarative sentences. Forget dependent
and independent clauses, those are way beyond his minimalist attention
span.  His speech seems generally confined to garbled boasting–the size of
his inaugural crowd (and hands,) the endless number of women he has
sexually assaulted, his popularity, how many toddlers he’s had the courage
to have others put into cages at his behest, etc.

Since Putin can make people disappear into thin air (high altitude Siberia) I
doubt he’d be as impressed as Billy Bush was, when having to listen ad
infinitum about Fat Donnie’s glorious pussy-grabbing exploits. Besides,
Vlad’s a busy guy–empire re-building, stealing other nations and
oppressing people can really cut into one’s time.

In the Helsinki meeting Vlad probably wanted to get down to brass tacks
right away, get our military secrets from the chatty president and go home to
get started putting sugar in our gas tanks and bananas in our tailpipes, so to
speak.

How surprised must Vlad have been to discover that Trump doesn’t have
any military secrets? At least he probably doesn’t remember any. He
doesn’t read the daily briefings, according to the press, and everyone’s seen
that he can’t seem to remember things from one minute to the next even if
he did read the briefings.

In Helsinki sly Putin probably invited himself to the White House, waited a
few minutes, and then thanked Trump for the invite. Then Trump probably
would have imagined that it was his idea in the first place–he always seems
to take credit for others’ deeds and suggestions anyway.

Now poor ol’ Vlad’s gonna have to hoof it all the way to Washington so he
can just go into the oval office and take pictures of all the unread documents
lying around on Trump’s desk. How aggravating is that for him? But,
patriot that he is, he’ll bear the inconvenience stoically.

When Vlad shows up at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. he may find a couple of
bodies, Generals Mattis and Kelly, keeled over on the floor, overcome by
sheer impotent outrage, but, that will only burnish Trump’s image to a guy
like Vlad.

How cool would it be if he didn’t have to torture people into a cold faint, if
he could just annoy them into insensibility instead? Totally cool.

Go to the source documents, as any lawyer or accountant can tell you.
Don’t waste any more of your precious time on chit chat, Vlad. Come to
DC ready to take pictures of everything while you’re in “the people’s
house”.

Just tell the president that you’ve heard he has lots of really great papers, the
best papers ever, and ask to see them. Say you’ve heard his daily briefing
papers are just super duper awesome. Ask to take selfies.

Oh yeah, and if he’s not in a yakking mood, Vlad, just ask if it’s true what
you heard–that one time his second wife, while still married to Fat Donnie–got caught on the beach late at night in a compromising state, with her bodyguard.

That should do it.

(Still better than Hillary, but the detestability gap is closing quickly.)

Here’s What Really Unites All Americans, and the World


What really brigs us all together? .  What unites humanity?  What truly defines the 99%?

Christmas, Ramadan, Thanksgiving, Easter, May Day, Superbowl Sunday,
NBA finals, Soccer World Cup, Olympics?   Cliffhanger human interest stories?  Cliffhanger reality involving kids in dire peril?

Nope .

It’s Shark Week! That’s when we all come together to be scared out of our
wits–long a favorite human pastime.

As Stormy Daniels noted on a late night talk show, upon hearing that
Donald Trump watches Shark Week; “Everybody loves Shark Week”. Betcha Vladimir Putin just loves it too.  He can always pick up a few tips on  how to terrorize hapless humans.

Thank you Discovery Channel for bringing us humans all together. Thanks,
also, for keeping us out of the (salt)water for the rest of the summer. Oh,
wait–uhhh, well, maybe not so much that.

As my buddy said while we were talking on the phone yesterday, while he
was, apparently, watching TV with the sound off; “Holy s–t! What the hell
was that.”

I knew instantly, without another word from him, what he was talking about.
“Oh that’s Shark Week. They’ve been showing the top 50 bites as a prep
for the scare-a-thon that starts on Sunday”.

We are one, or will be in a couple of days. Yeay! Shark Week! Thirtieth
Anniversary. Totally awesome! Plus Shaq. And Gronk.  Bear Gylls jumping out of a helicopter into chum-filled water with sharks all around.  Can’t beat that.

Montenegro, Start Brushing up on Russian Language Skills


Montenegro, when Trump started mentioning you as the NATO weakest link it should have raised a red flag. Well, actually, it should have raised the hair on the back of your collective necks.

Did Trump give your country to Putin as a “hostess gift” when he was groveling for Vlad’s approval in Helsinki a couple of days ago?

Y’know, as Neville Chamberlain, another weak sissie/traitor gave a big chunk of Yugoslavia to Hitler back in the day.  Remember? They called it the Sudetenland, as if it was a separate country, which it was not. Look it up.

The Russian tanks should be rumbling in any day now Montenegro.

Get out your tiny Russian flags to wave as your new masters roll into town. I’m sure they’re very nice folks driving those tanks.

There’s no proof but Trump isn’t exactly a five-moves-ahead-chess player. Nuance isn’t his thing.  No one’s ever on his “it’s all about me” radar screen unless he’s planning on rolling them, or at least that’s how it seems to me.

It’s been nice knowing you, Montenegro. Start picking out a new name.

Melania, Lose the Attitude You Lazy, Shallow Clotheshorse


I was prepared to give Melania the benefit of the doubt when her husband
was elected president.  Maybe it would be enough for her to look fabulous,
which she always does.  But in the postmodern era more is generally
expected of the First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS).

The media encourages our lazy, shallow FLOTUS by applauding her
arrogance and perpetually disdainful sneer/smirk. But I’ve actually known
people of real quality. Some of them are very wealthy and some, dirt poor.
Real people of quality don’t behave that way.   But, of course, quality and economic status are not necessarily the same thing.

Melania, her fat husband, and his dreary family will never be people of real
quality. They’re gilt not gold–a thin shiny veneer covering base metal, so
to speak.

To her credit, Melania had the onions to leave her country and enter the
vicious, cutthroat world of international high fashion modeling. That is not
a venue for the faint of heart. And she’s not stupid–she speaks five
languages, although probably not well. That must be useful when meeting
with foreign dignitaries.  And she doesn’t make the fashion mistake of encrusting herself with too much expensive jewelry, even though she must have plenty.

But she’s still a relatively uneducated peasant, from a commie country that
hates America.  It sure seems as if her perpetual sneer shows us just how she feels about us and our country.

She lied on her website (and the RNC’s) about having a college degree from
a particular Slovenian university when she knew it wasn’t true. Then she
shamelessly plagiarized from a Michelle Obama speech.

One could get kicked out of a university here in the USA for plagiarism.  If one actually attended a university that is.

What really frosted me was her stunningly selfish “let them eat cake”
moment when she refused to attend the G-7 summit after the Stormy
Daniels and Karen McDougal stories hit the nightly news.  Just to let us
know how pissed off she was, Melania then spent about $74,000 worth of taxpayer money for a one day spa trip to Mar a Lago to sulk.

Next time your husband gets caught out Melania, why don’t you donate
$74,000 of your own money to a charitable cause instead.  Spare us the
expense.

She knew what she was doing when she married. Why should “we the
rabble” have to shell out $74,000 just because she got what she signed up for–a
serial womanizer humiliating her in front of the whole world?

And, worse, there’s the time, recently, when that spoiled serial pouter wore
the infamous “I Really Don’t Care” jacket.  She was on the way–again at
taxpayer expense–to visit the border where her husband was responsible for
what amounts to the kidnapping of thousands of children. Those kids have
yet to be reunited with the families from which they have been stolen.
Yeah, no kidding. She wore a jacket with “I Really Don’t Care” emblazoned on it, to and from visiting her husband’s people-in-a-cage production.  Did she bring a bag of popcorn to munch on while watching the show?  S-o-o-o-o amusingly interesting, no?   People in a cage–it would make a great party theme in Trumpworld.

Why did she even go there?  Was she looking for the wall her husband hasn’t built?  Did she want to experience, vicariously, how the drabbies live?

You “don’t care” Mrs. Trump? Yeah, we know. It shows. But why would
you care anyway?  In the first place, you’re from a commie homeland where thugs rule and citizens drool.  And in the second place, where would you ever have learned to behave any better?

“I really don’t care”? Yeah, you uneducated cow, we know. It shows. But,
unfortunately for our country, you are right now representing the 330-plus
million Americans as First Lady.  So ditch the attitude and stop being so
damn snotty.

Slap your best insincere smile on your pretty face and get to work you lazy
clotheshorse.