All the News


Well the morning news has me, to borrow a phrase from our President’s 2008 campaign, all “fired up and ready to go”.  Go take a nap, that is.  The only bright spot was that John Huntsman, in a moment of rare political candor, called pastor Jeffresse a “moron”.  Jeffresse is the sanctimonious twit who called Mormonism a “cult”.  Y’know, I wonder how these narrow minded religious folks square the fact that they supposedly think Jesus is God’s manifestation on earth–one of God’s three aspects if my schooling by another cult, the Catholic Church, is correct–but then they are constantly second guessing their :Lord.  Who by extrapolation of Jeffresse’s church doctrine created everybody.  So that would imply, would it not, that Jesus as perfect God created the very people Jeffresse is slamming.  Sooo, Jeffresse is saying that God’s not perfect?  Is that it?  Ummm, isn’t that heresy for a born-again Christian?  And, also according to what their bible says, God liked all His little critters, and the neat stuff He created, and supposedly said that He thought His work was good.  So why are His supposed true believers always trying to change people who think differently than they do, when their own God created them and thought they were just fine?  Hmmm?  Why is that?  You’re goin’ to hell, Jeffresse, for bad mouthing God.  Who, from what I hear, has something of a temper.  Say hallelujah!

What would Jesus say?  “Zip it you morons.”

On a different and far less elevated plane, there’s the Floriduh legislature.  Keep in mind, Floriduh is a notoriously trigger happy state.  Just recently a 96 or 97 year old grandmother blew away her nephew with a .357 magnum according to an article in the Palm Beach Post.  No word on whether she used hollow points.  I think she’s been jailed for it, and it’s not funny, even if it sounds so at first because, a man is dead.  But another article which I read today in the Post, (“Police, Chamber Sergeants Prepare for Policy Allowing Guns in Florida Capitol”) although it’s widely reported elsewhere as well, talks about Florida’s new gun law.

The Florida legislature enacted a law that says only they have the right to enact gun laws and rules and anybody who does differently can kiss their rosy red patooties (I’m paraphrasing here), and pay a $100,000 fine.  The law says anyone with the right permit can carry their gun(s) into any public place, with one exception.  Wherever the Florida legislature meets.  No guns allowed where our goober legislators are meeting.  Hypocrisy and stupidity–once again, we have synergy!  Is this where ya say “hoo rah”?

Actually, I’m in favor of the law because ya need to be able to protect yourself in Florida.  In case you hadn’t heard, there are a lot of nutcakes roaming the state, and many of ’em are locked and loaded.

And speaking of those gun owners ya see strutting around in front of TV cameras and bragging about how the gubmint ain’t gonna push them around, they can always resort to “second amendment remedies” well, they’re delusional.  Have they seen the kind of weapons the gubmint has at its disposal?  The little pissant AK-47’s and Mac 10’s the “patriots” are sporting wouldn’t last five minutes against the stuff our soldiers can bring to bear on any armed revolt the second amendment folks decide to start.  Everybody should have the guns they need or want for personal protection and hunting.  That’s fine.  But let’s just hope the poor souls don’t kid themselves into thinking they’d have a prayer against a real live army.  ‘Cause they ain’t gonna outgun the gubmint.  That ship has sailed long since.  They wouldn’t have a prayer.

And speaking of prayer, I hear that when Jesus comes back, all those bible totin’ hellfire and damnation folks say he’s bringin’ an army with him.  Why?  Well, look what happened last time.  He got tortured to death.  No wonder he’s gonna be locked and loaded too.  What’s he got to say about his perfect little critters with the firearms?  “Prince of Peace?  Very funny.  Hell, Dad, those people are dangerous!”

And finally, there are a bunch of articles on Yahoo today about how our governor, Rick Scott has weighed in on how and why he wants to cut billions from education.  (And he knows a thing or two about how to spend billions.  The HCA of which he was CEO, was fined a record setting $1.7 billion–with a “b”– for the Medicare and Medicaid fraud it perpetrated under his tenure.)  Why cut billions from education?  Because who needs an educated population?  They’re not as easily duped, defrauded and ripped off as uneducated people working their butts off for minimum wage.

And what’s he gonna cut?  All those sissy academic disciplines that “don’t add much to the state’s economy”.  Liberal Arts classes and liberal arts schools, such as the perennially-on-the-list-of-best-colleges-in-the-country, New College of Sarasota.  Yep, Rick’s a deep one alright.  What’s the liberal arts’ claim to fame?  They teach people to think.  People who think increase payroll costs because they tend not to work for minimum wage.  That’s not good for the state’s economy.  So they’ve gotta go and their bogus academic disciplines with them.   Shoo.  Scat.  Get outa here.  We don’t need no stinkin’ thinkers in this great state.

Yeah, that’s the news.  Fetch me the digitalis.  On second thought, ice pick, please.  Time for the self administered lobotomy I’m always talkin’ about.  Gonna stick that ice pick into the frontal lobes and stir so I won’t be able to think either.  Gov.  Rick would approve.  In fact, I think he’s already tried it.  ‘Cause he sure doesn’t seem to think.  About anything but money, that is.

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