Newt’s Nuts, No?


No, the title’s not referring to Newt’s seemingly overactive, pure brass ‘nads, it’s a reference to his seemingly impaired mental health.  Newt sure seems to be flat out delusional about more than just his vaunted intellect, which, because it’s being compared to some of the gibbering fools in congress, may appear more robust than is warranted.  That whole, “he’s so smart” thing is more of a “one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind” phenomenon than anything else.  Just because he seems nominally aware that there is such a thing as scientific inquiry, not to mention technology, that doesn’t make him smart.  He constantly makes errors of historical fact while claiming that he was paid millions for being a historian to, among others, Fannie Mae.  And there’s no demonstrable proof that he actually understands any science at all, only that he knows enough to drop a few buzzwords, probably provided by Frank Luntz or Karl Rove.  Newt doesn’t seem all that smart, but ya gotta give him high marks for self promotion.  He’s relentless at that.

How is it no one seems to have noticed, except possibly Rick Santorum, that Newt Gingrich appears to be nuttier than a fruitcake?  Apparently there are no mirrors in the Gingrich household, either.  While he fancies himself a ladies’ man, face it, Newt’s a tubby, unattractive old man who seems an improbable choice for Lothario.  How has it been forgotten that he was a complete failure the one time he was given a chance at a national leadership position, yet he seems to view himself as akin to the second coming.  Yeah, hit the showers, Jesus, Newt’s on deck.  (What would Jesus say?  “Zip it, Newt.”)

Have ya paid attention to the number of truly important historical figures with whom Newt equates himself?  January 21 on “Morning Joe” someone read a long list of Newt’s imagined equivalent luminaries.  Mind boggling is probably not an extravagant enough description to convey just how truly stunning the delusional narcissism that list revealed, is.  He says he has grandiose ideas but they seem more like delusions of grandeur to a less biased audience than he.

Speaking of his delusions, ol’ Newt’s been going on about how he wants to “bloody his nose” and he’s “the only one who can go toe to toe” of/with the president.  Brave words from a guy who hasn’t lifted anything heavier than a pork chop in many a decade.  The president seems pretty fit, about a foot taller than Newt, and probably has a lot more IQ points as well.

And leave it to the darn republicans–who seem to be determined to bring the country down so their corporate masters and donors will no longer have any rules to constrain them–to insult our collective intelligence by proffering a raging nutcake to us as a viable presidential choice.  Wouldn’t it be nice if, for a change, republicans actually sent us a candidate with empirically demonstrable qualifications for national office?  In Newt’s case, I wanna see the psychiatrist’s report before I have to listen to one more blast of bombast, blowhardery, self congratulation, or delusional rant.  Gimme certification that he’s not certifiable.  I used to be a republican but those people are way too far out for normal people today.

His performance at last week’s last debate was hilarious.  Gettin’ all up on his high horse when asked a perfectly reasonable question which speaks to his character or lack thereof, i.e. wife number two’s allegations.  All that huffing and puffing by Newt managed to keep wimpy John King from pursuing a perfectly sensible line of questioning.  If Newt would betray two wives–and a wife is presumably a husband’s best friend–what do ya s’pose he’d do to us for whom he has such obvious contempt.  Not to mention another obvious, but–he was trying to impeach Bill Clinton for adulterous behavior with an intern back while he, Newt with a spouse, was banging a staffer.  Give the man an “A” for hypocrisy.

As far as wife number two thinking her awful revelations would damage Newt, my guess is most people, taking note of her role as mistress during wife number one’s health crisis, thought she pretty much got what she deserved.  That Newt is a hound to have treated either of his wives so badly seems to have gotten lost in the blitzkrieg of his affronted protestations of shock that someone would dare to ask of him the same level of comportment as he demands of others.

Aside from the trust and character issues, can ya imagine what a Newt presidency would be like?  That’s an ego that’d be wanting a lot of propping up, based upon his own words and behavior.  It’s too dreary to contemplate.  His main talent, other than self promotion, seems to be rooted in his demonstrated perfect pitch for dog whistle politics.  Yeh, wow, to repeat a cable news flack’s observation, he put both the media and a black journalist in their places in one week.  Golly!  That sure proves that he has the ability to run the collective affairs of 310 million people.

And speaking of not all that bright, wasn’t it Ron Paul who was asking just the other day why government has to get bigger and bigger?  Ooh, ooh, lemme guess.  Because we add several million new citizens to the population every year?  Because prior years’ budget obligations don’t necessarily hit the books for a year or two, (which means “W” programs are just now winding down BTW)?  Because the ninnies in congress can’t do math?  Because donors and cronies tell congress what programs to allocate funding for and in what amounts?

Let’s forget fiscal reality, put it aside for more substantive considerations.  Entertainment possibilities.  Isn’t everyone tired of the debates?  Instead how about a consultants’ cage match?  Frank Luntz, Newt, and Karl Rove, mano à mano in the cage, all oiled up in front of a frenzied crowd of martini fueled screaming tea baggers.  Maybe toss in Rush Limbaugh at the last minute to raise the blood lust level.  It’s be a ratings smash.  Democrat or republican, wouldn’t you watch it?  Yeah, I thought so.

How much longer ‘til election day?

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