Florida Cannibal, Face-biting Killer, Wants to Be a “Normal Kid” Again


So there was a story in some Florida newspapers today about how Florida
teenage murderer and cannibal (and Florida State University student) Austin
Harouf doesn’t like jail.  He wants to go back to being a “normal kid” again.

Yeah, that seems fair.

Briefly, he’s the maniac who murdered a man and his wife, attacked a
neighbor who tried to intervene, and was found by police biting the face off
the corpse of the man he’d just murdered.

Earth to Mr. Harrouf–there’s no goin’ back from that you moron.  No way are you gonna just put this behind you and carry on as though nothing had happened.

Even in Floriduh getting caught with a corpse, which IS a corpse because
you just took the life from the person who was occupying that body, is not
OK.  (Well, most of the time anyway.)  If you were, at the time of being
caught, eating your victim’s face off, either naked or dressed only in your underwear, well, moving on is a non-starter.  You’re toast pal.  You weren’t a normal kid, you were a face-biting cannibal in waiting.

Nobody feels sorry for you Mr. Harrouf.  You’re wasting our oxygen.  You
belong on death row.  So just shut the hell up about going back to being a
“normal kid” again.

Why on earth does the media even report crap like this?  Stop giving this
monster any attention. Don’t waste the public’s time.  Just let us know
when the creep has been put down wouldja?

How is it that people like him always seem to wind up in Florida?  Stuff like
this is the reason that all the Florida natives I know, including me, try to
confine our interactions to other Florida natives.  We’re frisky but more or
less sane. And how do we get the reputation of being oddballs when it’s
the transplants who always seem to be involved in our most lurid incidents.

Keep that in mind people, when your read about bizarre Florida people and
their nutty behavior.  They’re not Floridians, they just live here!

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