Category Archives: Donald Trump

Trump Would Have Run In and Taken Out the Parkland Shooter? Seriously?

Since we’ve all seen that the best pace our tubby president can muster is a slow waddle, his boast is only partly plausible.  Assuming that he’d been there and actually taken any part in an attempted rescue of the children under attack in Parkland, I think it would have played out something like this.

The most charitable interpretation of what Trump might have done had he been near the massacre is that he’d have charged along on his golf cart, waddled down a hallway or two looking for an elevator rather than taking the stairs, (out of the question).  Then, exhausted, he’d have slumped against a wall wheezing from the effort of walking any farther from his golf cart than his usual distance.  That would normally be between his cart and where his ball lies on a fairway or green.

Of course, he’s never demonstrated a scintilla of courage in all the years he’s been braying on our TV screens, long before the Russians put him up to running for president.  (Coercion or bribery, inquiring minds want to know–but no icky details, please.  Some of us have weak stomachs.)  So it seems improbable that he would have done a damn thing.

But he would have said he did.  In his demented brain the two are seemingly the same.   (What really happened and what he said–after the fact– happened would not, in a million, billion years actually be the same. )

Yeah, I can see him zipping along in his golf cart, hair flying, bald spot showing, rolls of fat jiggling, racing away from any possible danger as quickly as possible.   Just like Fearless Leader of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame, our cartoon of a president would have made us laugh.

Or would have if it weren’t for the gruesome fact that real children were dying, their internal organs and bones being blown apart because no one–NO ONE–except the brave Coral Springs police officers, a few teachers, and the children themselves showed any courage at all during the horrific tragedy.

So zip it Mr president.  At this point we’d all probably be satisfied if you would just stop fooling around, tweeting, bragging, stuffing your face with KFC and Big Macs, and actually put in a day or two of actual work at your job.

But we know that’s not gonna happen.


Was It Worth $100K-$250K for (Eric) Trump Appearance?

So there was supposed to be this big–hyooooge, in fact–bash at Mar-a-Lago to celebrate Trump’s one-year-in-office anniversary.  Trump would play the conquering hero to the adoring crowd of Trumpettes and other awe-stricken lumpenproles in a pricey paean to his wonderfulness.  (The Trumpettes are a group of die-hard female Trump supporters who openly celebrate their white privilege instead of denying that it exists as dem women do.)

The cost to attend was reportedly between $100,000 and $250,000 per couple (the latter figure being for the swells who wished to participate in a patricians-only discussion of some sort).

Except the government shutdown interfered.  The president had to stay in Washington.

But it was okay.  There was a substitute Trump appearance.  Eric.  He may have given a speech.  I wasn’t on the guest list.

But had I been, well, the bait and switch would not have gone unremarked-upon.  I would argue that a picture with Eric Trump pretending to know me would not have been of equivalent value to a photo of his father pretending to know me.  Yeah, that was supposed to be the big payoff for attendees–a photo with the leader of the free world.

Instead they got a photo-op with his kid whose main achievement in life so far has been lugging his father’s DNA around and passing it on to some offspring.

For this guests were expected to take their tiaras out of the safety deposit boxes?   Eric Trump?  Why that’s hardly even worth a factotum’s time to go and pick up the baubles from the vault, let alone the price of  ladies’ costly couture, groomers’ time, glittery footwear and other essentials for a look at me, look at me social event in Palm Beach.

Yeah.  $100K – $250K.  Eric Trump.  No kidding.

Money well spent, no?  No!

What would Jesus say?  “Hey kid, you ever hear the one about the camel passing through the eye of a needle?”

How Trump Is Like Henry II of England–and Not

Since the anti-American GOP’s suck-ups are always seeking to ingratiate themselves with the Donald through the flattery he loves, here’s some for the ages.  Literally.  No doubt Trump would be glad to be compared to a famously wealthy and powerful English king, in this case Henry II of England.  Plus, he doesn’t read so Henry’s less admirable attributes won’t cause any blowback.  (Jeez, Steve Bannon had no problems with his disparaging remarks did he?)

These excerpts are from Geraldus Cambrensis (Gerald of Wales) who was the tutor of two of Henry II’s sons; King Richard (Lionheart) and King John (Lackland).  He well knew King Henry II.  And some of Gerald’s description(s) of that king could easily have been written about Trump.

Here are a few nuggets.

…Well, Henry II., king of the English, was a man
with reddish hair, a big bullet-head, blood-shot gray
eyes that in anger flashed fiercely, a fiery face, and
a broken voice. …; his figure was portly, but
not absolutely of huge and unwieldy bulk. …
…constitutional inclination to corpulence…
…showed greater tenderness of feeling for the fallen than for the survivors: he was far less demonstrative in his care for the living than in his grief for the dead…
…No one was kinder in the hour of trouble : when all was well again, no one more severe. …
…The man for whom he had once conceived a hate, he
could with difficulty be brought to love…
he was by nature not a truthful man, and would habitually break his word without the slightest excuse. For whenever he found
himself in a difficulty he preferred that his honour
should suffer rather than his interest, and thought it
better to lose his reputation for honesty than to miss
an advantage. …
…to the great inconvenience of his subjects exceedingly
slow in coming to a final decision in any matter. … …by the refined malice, as it were, of Fortune it happened that where the king
looked for happiness there he found hostility; where
defence, defiance; where help, hate; where rest and
repose, there especially disquiet and disturbance. …

Henry II did have a number of more laudatory characteristics and  behavior patterns.  He was extremely intelligent and had an incredible memory; he read prodigiously and applied himself diligently to attending to the nuts and bolts of governing.    He also worked hard to keep his weight under control, exercising constantly.

Mr. Trump, not so much.  We knew the man was a pig, by the words that came out of his own mouth.  He openly bragged about getting away with serial sexual assaults.  But we balanced those egregious character and personality flaws against the known reality of his also hideously flawed opponent who was unsuitable in different ways but still definitely not presidential material.  We held our noses and expected a workaholic president who would be busy, busy, busy all the time, mastering the art of statecraft, working to learn the nuts and bolts of government and actually governing.  We thought he’d be re-negotiating unfavorable trade deals which put our country at a disadvantage in commerce, fixing immigration in a sensible way, working to fund the repair of crumbling infrastructure, trying to prevent nuclear war and so on.

What we actually got was a lazy, fat, self indulgent slacker who spends a significant part of his day watching TV and shoveling Big Macs and Kentucky Fried Chicken into his pie hole while tweeting disgustingly immature and vile things about friends, enemies, other countries and and his own employees.  He is scathing in assessing women who are a few pounds overweight while ignoring the plain fact that he should lose at least 75 pounds so he won’t have to waddle like a beached walrus in front of the whole world.  He praises virtually nothing and no one for long.

Someone who feels the need to constantly belittle others in order to make his own sorry self seem superior is way off the mark for any “leader”.  Unlike Henry II.


Is Donald Trump Gay But Can’t Bear to Admit It?

It’s hard to fathom what witches brew of psychological unease causes Trump to be so unrepentently vitriolic. The unendingly deep well of hate speech that erupts from his mouth and thumbs is unparalleled in presidential history. And I’ve wondered many times what could possibly account for someone being so monstrously uncomfortable in his own skin. He is clearly acting, playing a part instead of being genuine.  But why?

He’s like a horse with a burr under the saddle. And it’s not just painful to watch, his vicious temperament could easily get us all into a nuclear war. There’ll be no going back from that, should it happen.

There has to be something more than a predisposition to crankiness going on under that flimsy rainbow hued patch of hair poking out so oddly from his skull. My hypothesis is that he’s gay, which is not something anyone can squelch forever without serious emotional dislocation.

He was raised in a time and family in which it would have been difficult, if not impossible, to admit to such a thing. Even though being gay is perfectly normal and ordinary, Trump seems way too anxious to prove his masculinity, in his case by rampant womanizing and bragging about womanizing.

Doing the opposite of one’s natural inclinations used to be called reaction formation.  When the prospect of a trait, characteristic, or penchant is met with extreme disapproval by society, the person who has to pretend to be something the opposite of their true nature can suffer enormously.

I used to have a friend who was temperamentally exactly like Trump–effeminate, fussy, and unendingly verbally abusive for no apparent reason. The constant histrionics, the hateful speech and denigration of others who did not share his ethnicity (white, from Kansas) ultimately led to us not being friends anymore.  I just could not bear to listen to the sewer that was his tortured mind.

Then, finally,  he came out.  Except he did it in the worst possible way.  His very straight-laced father was on his death bed when this guy had a terrible temper tantrum and told his dad that he was gay and he’d be the end of the DNA line for his family.   Even for him that was inexcusably mean.

But I’ve heard that he’s a lot more mellow now that he’s not having to pretend to be something he’s not.

Maybe if Trump would just come out we’d all be a lot better off.

Not Collusion–Maybe Putin Hired (Or Coerced) Trump to Run for President

My sainted Catholic Mom (to borrow a phrase from Gen. John Kelly) used to say that if there’s an obvious answer it’s probably the answer.

Putin was head of the KGB.  The head spook for one of the most repressive regimes of the 20th and 21st centuries.

Donald Trump is a careless person.  No telling what he was up to in Russia.  Money laundering seems to fit the data, among other things.  And he appears to be depraved.  For God’s sake the man bragged about sexually assaulting women on a regular basis.  We have his own word for it.  On tape.  Uh huh.  Bragging about sexual assault.   Who does that?

What else might he have been up to in a far away place where the pesky American law enforcement community is also far away?

And how hard would it have been for Putin to recognize the potential benefits of having a supposed American billionaire on the payroll.  Blackmail and extortion would surely be in Putin’s bag of dirty tricks.

Maybe Putin decided to throw the dice and put up his own candidate for the U.S. presidency.   Someone recently observed that Putin manages Trump as if he’s a KGB “asset”.   Maybe that’s because Trump is a KGB asset.

The data sure seems to fit the hypothesis.  The hypothesis?   Trump is a bought and paid for, or coerced, Russian “asset”.

That’s gotta be the spook coup of the century.


Ack, Sen. Corker Agrees with Me re: Trump Castrating Cabinet

Except I said it first.  Sen. Corker, you’re stealin’ my premise. (This is just an updated previous post from 4/27/17 in which I raised the same issue–Trump’s neutered males). Because the way the men in the Trump adminstration are publicly scolded, badmouthed, slimed, denigrated, taunted and generally disrespected by their incompetent and embarrassingly ill-behaved master would only be tolerated by someone with no balls.

So I’ve been wondering–will all the Trump administration’s neutered
males–Priebus, Sessions, Mattis, Pence, Tillerson, Spicer, et. al.–get their balls back after they leave office? (Okay, Spicer and Priebus probably never had any, but what about the rest?  They were once high testosterone males.) And where are those testicles stored anyway? (Al Gore’s lockbox?) Or were they just thrown out with the rest of the trash?

Granted, most of the castrati are so old that they probably weren’t using
those balls for much anyway, except possibly to scratch occasionally, for
old times’ sake. But the way these guys let Trump humiliate them suggests
that whatever manhood they still possessed had to be checked at the
metaphorical door to their new positions, as a condition of employment.

Some of the president’s paid lackeys used to have some pride, sense of self,
and independence. Now they’re just a sad, pathetic bunch of saluting,
heel-clicking old castrati who have apparently sold their manhood

Still, it could be worse. Über sack-shrinker Hillary could have been elected.
Just the sound of her voice is enough to make a red-blooded male’s testicles
ascend to the refuge of their owner’s thorax and huddle behind the ribs in
fear. There’s no guarantee she would even have hired any manly men

What would Jesus say?

“You weenies don’t deserve the balls Dad and I gave ya.  You don’t hear about me badmouthing my apostles do ya?  And look what they did to me.”


Trump, GOP Sliming Brave San Juan Mayor Is Contemptible

Trump and his chump change colleagues really hit bottom the past few days, trashing San Juan’s gutsy mayor, who has demonstrated great leadership and compassion under extreme duress.  Trump and his sleazy, lilliputian GOP apparatchiks bitching about Ms. Cruz’s performance was like criticizing someone who’s just been run over by a Mack truck because they didn’t carry the stretcher to the ambulance and drive themselves to the hospital.  This is not how people of quality behave!

Watching those dirtbags slime Ms. Cruz was infuriating.  They were an embarrassment to our country.  Jeez, could they do something less distasteful like maybe just go back to quietly cheating us out of travel reimbursements or something?

Trump’s performance as president thus far demonstrably disqualifies him from making any sort of useful observations about leadership, a quality which he is decidedly neither imbued with nor seeking to acquire.   He knows not of leadership because he just doesn’t possess the full complement of knowledge, skill sets and emotional range to understand those whom he would lead.  Trying to explain to him wherein lies his ignorance of leadership would be like trying to explain the color red to a congenitally blind person.  He’s not got it and he’s not gonna get it either.

And, speaking of leadership, aside from the shocking paucity of moral and humane responses to millions of our countrymen and women suffering, one would have thought that the feckless White House occupant et. al. would at least look to their own self interest.

But the distinct impression these folks leave is that they think Latina/Latino voters will forget this.  In the first place, everyone knows that the “Latino vote” is by no means monolithic.  Mexican Americans have different priorities and issues than Cuban Americans, who differ on many subjects from Puerto Ricans, who don’t necessarily share the views of folks with Central American ancestry who…well, you get the picture.  But despite the differences,  I can guarantee you that the “they” of whom our meathead president spoke when dissing Mayor Cruz, know when “they” have been insulted.  And I suspect “they” will remember it for at least a couple of election cycles.  Nice strategizing there, GOP.

And it was only a few hours after Trump made that insulting remark about “they want everything done for them” before I heard some illiterate (literally) jerk where I live repeating with kneejerk stupidity that very same Trump doctrine.

No.  They don’t.  They are American citizens and Puerto Rico (and the U.S. Virgin Islands) are American soil.  Period.  When there’s no power, no communication, no fuel,no water and no food, and no plausible way to ameliorate that lack, there’s only so much “they” can do.  “They” are part of us.

Actually, I think Trump’s just pissed off because someone pulled his own stunt against him in Puerto Rico.  He licensed his name to a casino company for a resort and golf club in Puerto Rico.  That company welshed on the licensing fees, then declared bankruptcy, changed the name, and left Trump’s organization holding the bag for an unspecified sum.  Basically, they out-Trumped Trump.  No wonder he’s sulking.  Too bad it’s the people of Puerto Rico who are having to pay the price in the form of seemingly deliberately drawn out  hurricane relief.

Some leaders, no?  No.  Those commie-loving Trumpsters and their GOP Putin-poodles in congress are so busy giving away the farm that they wouldn’t know true patriotism or leadership if it bit ’em in the ass.

Back to Trump and the GOP dumping on Mayor Cruz–do these assholes even know anything about Puerto Rico and its native sons and daughters? Do they not realize that it’s been a European-developed island since the early 1500’s? It was a powerhouse in the Caribbean more than a century before the Pilgrims even showed up in the New (relative term) World.

Oh, right.  I forgot. Trump doesn’t know any history.  (Not to digress but, what the hell were they teaching at the expensive schools from which he supposedly graduated?)  Apparently his little cadre of heel clickers either doesn’t either or won’t admit to it.

Yeah.  Some leaders.

What would Jesus say?  The same thing Lin-Manuel Miranda said about Trump re: dissing Mayor Cruz.  “You’re going straight to hell.”