Category Archives: GOP old fart white guys

Would It Be Inappropriate for Prince Philip to Bitch Slap Trump?


I know the Queen is far too well behaved to do something like that but the
crusty and (unlike Trump) über manly Duke of Edinburgh may be a different
matter.

No one would mind, sir. Your people would stand up and cheer after the
coarse, vulgar, crude behavior to which our a-hole president has subjected
your country, Prime Minister, and people. (Face it, Trump’s the type who’d
fart at the dinner table, then pick his nose–a total pig.)

Right now there are probably many people in the USA who would stand up and cheer too should the unfiltered Prince Consort/Duke of Edinburgh feel compelled to smack President (AKA “Fat Donnie”) Trump with a good hard shot to the chops for the way he has behaved toward England, its allies, NATO and common decency–of which Trump knows not.

But, please Prince Philip–don’t leave any marks. Trump wants to look his
best for his prom date with Vladimir Putin. We’re all agog/aghast waiting for the
photos of Putin sitting in front of the fireplace, with pipe and slippers and
his poodle Donald Trump curled up on the floor at his feet. Ya just know
he’ll be crawling on his belly and wagging his fat tail hoping for a pat on
the head and maybe even a treat. (Sit. Stay. Staaaay. Shake hands. Sit up
and beg. Good boy. Gooood boy.)

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GOP Thoughts and Prayers? Yada Yada; GOP Heartfelt Plea? NRA, More Cash Please


After the Parkland mass murders, and now after the Santa Fe school shootings, GOP politicians trotted out the same old insincere BS as always. They pretend to be shocked, shocked at the mayhem.  After Parkland, at first the useless Floriduh legislature refused even to take up any bill related to gun violence.  They did have time, however, to pass a resolution that mandates that all public schools and other public buildings must have the phrase”In God We Trust publicly posted.

Well, in a sense they’re right–God may take care of us but the GOP surely won’t.  They’re way too busy counting cash from the NRA.

Paul Ryan wasted no time in saying that  “This is not the time” to talk about restricting second amendment “rights”.   Because, whipped pup that he is,  he’s not gonna go against his wealthy owners.   It’s obvious that Ryan’s more concerned about keeping GOP cash flow than protecting citizens.  Yeah, he’s a real profile in courage!  Don’t let the door hit ya in the butt on the way out of the House of Representatives, Ryan.

It’s not just him.  The whole GOP and its Lilliputian  candidates and elected officials will always have their grubby paws out to the National Rifle Association, (NRA)–which gives them hundreds of millions of dollars–and anyone else who’ll give them cash.

As the old song goes; “Money.  Money, money, money, money.”   The GOP should just be straight up about it and adopt that song as the party’s anthem.  Maybe they could change the hypocritical slogan they sanctimoniously spout–“In God We Trust”– to the more pragmatic and accurate “In Cash We Trust”.

Because the GOP couldn’t care less about kids, teachers or USA citizens in general.

What the GOP “leadership,” and GOP beneficiaries of the NRA’s filthy lucre, care about is money and doing the bidding of their donors to keep that liquid cash flowing smoothly into party coffers.

So, please, GOP, spare us your crocodile tears and sanctimonious “concern” for the latest collateral damage from your gutless refusal to take sensible steps to at least expand background checks for potential gun purchasers.  That latest school shooting damage was only a paltry 10 lives and a handful of wounded kids.  Well worth the price, eh?  It’s a veritable pittance, in the GOP grand scheme of things.

GOP, you’re the enablers here.  You commie sympathizers are as unpatriotic as it gets.

Democracy?  You can’t handle democracy.  You people just don’t get it, and you’re never gonna get it.  You’re contemptible.  And predictable.  And on a moral par with the Dems, who are similarly inured to the lives of non-constituents and constituents alike.

What would Jesus say to the GOP?

“Hell is way too good for you people.”

 

Does Trump Have Oneirataxia?


I may have the answer–to what’s wrong with Donald Trump, that is.

Maybe he has oneirataxia – the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.  (This, by the way, seems to be a common affliction among real estate
developers. When they talk about developing a real estate project, they think it’s
already a fait accompli.)

I came across the term while looking for a way to convey my persistent
longing for Wales. Ever since visiting there in 2014 I think about it
constantly, daily.  (It turned out the term I was looking for is “fernweh” i.e.
an ache for distant places.)

However, having so fortuitously come across a word for explaining Trump’s
seemingly delusional ravings of late, it’s only right to share it. It seems
somehow, more presidential than just saying he’s crazy as a bedbug, or
nutty as a fruitcake.  It seems less dauntingly dangerous for our national security interests than “dementia”.

Somehow, if I look at it that way it’s even not so disgusting to watch him waddling to and fro like a beached walrus, with his pathetic long red tie pointing at his crotch virtually shouting “look at my dick, look at my dick”.  Of course, I’m just a post modern dinosaur so nobody’s asking my opinion.

Still better than Hillary though.  God only knows what mental dysfunctions that one’s got hidden up her sleeve.  Or psyche.

Yep, oneirataxia – inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.  If
that’s not our pres. I don’t know what is.

Walking Mudpit Trump Sloshes Through Middle East


Personally, since I was in Palm Beach County when the Saudi 911 bombers
trained nearby, and lived there, I’m not a huge fan of Saudi Arabian
leadership.  Plus there’s that whole, women can’t drive or go out of their
house without a male to supervise them thing.  Sorry, but that’s not what
you’d call “endearing” to American women.

But I laughed out loud at the news story about the Saudis giving Trump a
“golden collar” during the president’s first trip to the Middle East .  Ya don’t necessarily think of them as having a sense of irony.

They’re gonna have a time of it teaching our perpetually distracted
president to heel, sit and stay though.  They’d do better with one of those
“zapper” collars that delivers an electric shock when a pet misbehaves.
That might possibly get the Saudi wannabe owners of Mr. Trump better
results.  But they’re gonna have to battle Putin on this one–he’s currently got
bragging rights on controlling our erstwhile Pres.

Maybe Putin and Saudi crown prince somebody or other could mud wrestle
for the right to lead Trump around by his golden collar.  (It’d give Putin a hard-to-resist excuse to flash his man-boobs again!)

Lots of people would pay cold hard cash to see that sporting event.  I’d put my money on Putin.  He sure enough knows how to fight dirty.  There’d have to be a written rule–no assassinating opponents; Putin has a history after all.

Yeah, our president–favored lapdog of brutal dictators.  MAGA?  But which one
would it be?  Who’d get the rose?  If the high stakes mud wrestling event
were televised it would blow American Idol and Bachelorette ratings off the
court, don’t ya think?

And I’ll just bet that Trump thought that golden collar was an
honor–because it’s expensive.

But, Trump wasn’t just visiting the Middle East, he went to Rome too.  (We’ll skip the part where he got confused during a press conference with Netanyahu in Israel and just wandered off!)   I was thinking the Pope might once again work his magic, as he did with John Boehner, who resigned the day after meeting with the persuasive pontiff.

Well, except that then we’d have President Pence–another empty suit nitwit.
On the up side he’s more photogenic than Trump, and really good at looking earnest and resolute.  Hard to tell if that’d be a real improvement in the long run, but, how much worse could it get?  At least he might not spend all day
watching TV and tweeting nonsense.  Unlike our current president, Pence
might even have policies and plans that wouldn’t fit into 140 characters.

Does anyone else wonder when the GOP is going to get it that they are
the ones colluding–in making all of us a laughingstock in the world at large that is?  Not to mention that leaving a country of nearly 350 million citizens unattended for several years probably isn’t going to work out well.

 

Whiny Trump Turning Out To Be Crybaby In Chief


Jeez, isn’t everyone getting tired of Trump’s constant whining and
complaining?  Far from being the strong and energetic leader we were promised, he’s turned out to be “Crybaby in Chief”. Wah, wah, wah “it’s not fair” is his less than stalwart battle cry. It’s so embarrassing to the country.

And at the recent summit, when all the other heads of state walked, sissy-boy Donald Trump had to be hauled around in a golf cart because he was too fat, lazy and out of shape to keep up with his more fit–and mostly elderly–world leader colleagues. Mortifying!  For us that is.

Mr. Trump, here’s a bit of wisdom Mom imparted to me when I tried
that same lame ploy (“It’s not fair!”) long before I even entered
kindergarten. “Life isn’t fair and the sooner you learn that the better off
you’ll be. Now go to your room until you can behave.”

Somebody, please, send Trump a binkie and a blankie to help him cope with
his monstrous inadequacy.

So far it appears that the only member of the Trump retinue/administration
who is actually ready for political prime time is Melania. And she looks
ready to bolt any day now.

Trump’s Putin Phone Call–Best Phone Sex Ever?


It’s pretty clear Trump has some sort of man crush on Putin. (Was it the
topless pic on horseback where Putin flashed his man-boobs that started it
all?)  Trump’s like a giddy schoolgirl the way he keeps finding excuses to talk
about the object of his fascination.  Tough luck Michael Flynn, Putin’s goin’ to the prom with the Donald, not you.

So, anyway, when Trump finally got to talk to the Russian dictator what I wonder is–was it good for ya Donald?  (Please, no icky details, a simple yes or no will be sufficient.)  Was it like everything else is with you–the bestest, most wonderfulest, super duper ever?   Was it the best phone sex ever?

But, just to remind us all why Trump won, Hillary popped up again only a few days ago, beating that same old, “everybody’s pickin’ on me” drum she loves to pound.  She was still whining in that bandsaw voice.  Wah, wah, wah. It was misogyny, it was Comey, it was…fill in the blank.  Here’s a tip–most people don’t want excuses, they want results.  When you always need an excuse, there is no excuse.  You’re a loser plain and simple.

Here’s what it really was.  You and your ninny staff were true to that old stereotype about women being lame at math.  Y’all couldn’t do simple arithmetic.  Just as in 2008, you couldn’t add up the number of electoral college votes you needed and work to secure them.

Ya didn’t even go to Michigan!  You just expected that your compelling story–“it’s my turn and I don’t have a penis”–would automatically win the female vote.  Apparently Madeline Albright’s tone-deaf remark that there should be a special place in hell reserved for women who don’t help other women put the exclamation mark on your sexist expectations.  Thinking that Trump should be discriminated against because he does have a penis maybe wasn’t the best rationale on which to hang your power-hungry hopes.  Gender discrimination cuts both ways.

And you foolishly assumed black people would automatically vote for you because they supported Obama so overwhelmingly.  Did ya think they’d forget the racist stuff you & Bill slathered onto the national conversation in the 2008 election?  Here’s another tip–black women aren’t necessarily all that fond of white women.

Jeez, lady, because of your unprofessional staff, classified information showed up on serial dick-pic flasher Anthony Wiener’s computer.  No problem there, eh?  And he was supposedly flashing underage girls.  Yeah, because of you classified information wound up on the same unsecured computer used to distribute porn to children.  Do you see any potential security problems with that?  No rush, give it some thought while you’re channeling Gollum and muttering about how your “precious” was stolen from you because of that mean Mr. Comey and misogynistic men.

Sure, we appear to have wound up with a commie cabal that’s wired in at the White House.  But Trump’s just another disappointing old fart white guy being faithless with the electorate.  Nothing new there.  If it had been Hillary, the fallout when she failed–as she has so often, despite her clueless cheering squad–would have been “See what happens when ya let a woman have power”.  She would have poisoned the well for all women for years to come.  Hillary’s an out of touch loser who can’t take responsibility for her own behavior.

With Trump all we have to worry about is the commies who hate us and would love to harm our country.  And, of course, his mystifying and kinky masochistic crush on a vicious dictator who never stops trying to harm the U.S.

Of course I could be wrong–I am, after all, a post-modern dinosaur– but I still think it’s Putin’s man boobs that have the Donald all a-twitter with commie praise.

 

 

 

 

Will Trump’s Castrati–His Male Appointees–Get Their Balls Back When They Leave W/H?


So I’ve been wondering–will all the Trump administration’s neutered
males–Priebus, Mattis, Kelly, Tillerson, Spicer, et. al.–get their balls back
after they leave office?  (Okay, Spicer and Priebus probably never had any,
but what about the rest?)  And where are those testicles stored anyway?  (Al
Gore’s lockbox?)  Or were they just thrown out with the rest of the trash?

Granted, most of the castrati are so old that they probably weren’t using
those balls for much anyway, except possibly to scratch occasionally, for
old times’ sake.  But the way these guys let Trump humiliate them suggests
that whatever manhood they still possessed had to be checked at the
metaphorical door to their new positions, as a condition of employment.

Some of the president’s paid lackeys used to have some pride, sense of self,
and independence.  Now they’re just a sad, pathetic bunch of saluting,
heel-clicking old castrati who have apparently sold their manhood
for–what?

Still, it could be worse. Über sack-shrinker Hillary could have been elected.
Just the sound of her voice is enough to make a red-blooded male’s testicles
ascend to the refuge of their owner’s thorax and huddle behind the ribs in
fear.  There’s no guarantee she would even have hired any manly men anyway.

It’s gonna be a long four years.