Category Archives: GOP

Carpetbagger Beats Native Son in GA District 6


Caveat:
Technically I am a Southerner.  My family’s been in Florida for just shy of
100 years and I was bred, born, raised and educated here.  However, South Florida isn’t actually the South. It’s a separate parallel universe.  Ya
gotta go north in Florida to be in the South, so probably I don’t really count
as a Southerner.  But when people not born here call themselves a Floridian they get a frosty reply from me–“You are NOT a Floridian.  You just live here”.  As far as I’m concerned anyone born north of Orlando is a Yankee.   You could say I’m just a post-modern dinosaur.

Well, it’s official.  Georgia is no longer truly Southern.  The unthinkable has
happened.  District 6 voters picked an unqualified, uneducated carpetbagger
over a well educated native son, at the behest of a Yankee from New York!  Ack!

There was a time, after the Civil War, when carpetbaggers were reviled in
the South. (At the time Southerners seemed surprised that killing hundreds
of thousands of Northerners, thereby plunging the country into years of devastating war and economic chaos in support of being able to own people, might actually have consequences.)

Not satisfied with having the beloved land–the South–burned to ashes, a
Southerner murdered the one person who might have helped reconstruct the
floundering region, Abraham Lincoln.  The mindless aggression of the
South not only left it in ruins, the economic fallout kept it a backwater
reeling in poverty and distress for a hundred years.

After the war (mostly Republican) post-Civil War carpetbaggers flooded the South and proceeded to help themselves to the spoils of an ill-conceived mass conflict.  Southerners detested the northern opportunists, since they had contributed nothing to making the pre-war South an economic powerhouse, and abused the hapless Southerners in oh so many ways.  (Again, Southerners didn’t seem to make the connection that the distasteful newcomers were a direct result of their own foolish decision to go to war with their own country.)

In the South you will still occasionally hear people say that the Civil
War wasn’t about slavery, it was about states’ rights.  Yeah.  What they
mean is states’ rights to own people, effectively stealing the lives, families
and personhood of those millions of humans which they “owned” over a
period of hundreds of years.

Southerners’ distrust and dislike of Yankees persists in much of the South to this
day.  Yet, somehow Donald Trump, the ultimate carpetbagger, from New
York no less, has become wildly popular in the South.  He told the GA
District 6 voters who to choose and they fell in line and did his bidding
without a peep of protest.

So much for “hell no we ain’t fergettin,” a Southern slogan referring to the North having won the Civil War.  That win used to stick in Southerners’ craws.  Maybe they’ve gotten over it.

This leads me to believe that true Southerners have been out-bred and
outnumbered by Northern transplants and their offspring.  Folks who prefer a carpetbagger to a native son are what might be termed faux Southerners.

Proof positive that Georgia is no longer Southern came on June 20,
2017 in the state’s congressional District 6 special election.

The district’s voters chose an uneducated carpetbagger, with no training or
experience in economics, finance, political science or other relevant
disciplines, Karen Handel, over native son Jon Ossoff.

As Secretary of State for Georgia–a post to which Georgia voters elected
her–Handel was involved in persistent ploys to suppress voter turnout, i.e.
keep Southerners from exercising their right to vote.

Ossoff, whose bachelor’s degree is from Georgetown and master’s degree is
from the London School of Economics, was born and raised in District 6.
(However, his mother is an Australian immigrant and his dad was raised in
Massachusetts, so, honestly, neither of the District 6 candidates has
generational ties to Georgia.)

Carpetbagger Karen Handel (born in stronghold-of-Satan, Washington, D.C. ) actually criticized Ossoff for having a good education!  His degrees
could not possibly have come without both intelligence and great effort.
Neither of his post-secondary schools just hand out degrees for nothing.
So obviously his stellar educational achievements are a minus for him in nouveau Georgia.

The fact remains.  Georgia voters chose to elect a carpetbagger on the word
of a Yankee.  Georgia, or at least its District 6, is no longer Southern. Gasp!

Meanwhile, thanks District 6, for sending another ignorant, unqualified
representative to Congress.  The country doesn’t have enough of those,
right?  Now the rest of us will have to take the consequences of your
decision right along with y’all.

A carpetbagger elected in Georgia?  Obviously the End Days are nigh.  Mercy sakes alive, ah feel faint.  Fetch me a mint julep, willya?

Walking Mudpit Trump Sloshes Through Middle East


Personally, since I was in Palm Beach County when the Saudi 911 bombers
trained nearby, and lived there, I’m not a huge fan of Saudi Arabian
leadership.  Plus there’s that whole, women can’t drive or go out of their
house without a male to supervise them thing.  Sorry, but that’s not what
you’d call “endearing” to American women.

But I laughed out loud at the news story about the Saudis giving Trump a
“golden collar” during the president’s first trip to the Middle East .  Ya don’t necessarily think of them as having a sense of irony.

They’re gonna have a time of it teaching our perpetually distracted
president to heel, sit and stay though.  They’d do better with one of those
“zapper” collars that delivers an electric shock when a pet misbehaves.
That might possibly get the Saudi wannabe owners of Mr. Trump better
results.  But they’re gonna have to battle Putin on this one–he’s currently got
bragging rights on controlling our erstwhile Pres.

Maybe Putin and Saudi crown prince somebody or other could mud wrestle
for the right to lead Trump around by his golden collar.  (It’d give Putin a hard-to-resist excuse to flash his man-boobs again!)

Lots of people would pay cold hard cash to see that sporting event.  I’d put my money on Putin.  He sure enough knows how to fight dirty.  There’d have to be a written rule–no assassinating opponents; Putin has a history after all.

Yeah, our president–favored lapdog of brutal dictators.  MAGA?  But which one
would it be?  Who’d get the rose?  If the high stakes mud wrestling event
were televised it would blow American Idol and Bachelorette ratings off the
court, don’t ya think?

And I’ll just bet that Trump thought that golden collar was an
honor–because it’s expensive.

But, Trump wasn’t just visiting the Middle East, he went to Rome too.  (We’ll skip the part where he got confused during a press conference with Netanyahu in Israel and just wandered off!)   I was thinking the Pope might once again work his magic, as he did with John Boehner, who resigned the day after meeting with the persuasive pontiff.

Well, except that then we’d have President Pence–another empty suit nitwit.
On the up side he’s more photogenic than Trump, and really good at looking earnest and resolute.  Hard to tell if that’d be a real improvement in the long run, but, how much worse could it get?  At least he might not spend all day
watching TV and tweeting nonsense.  Unlike our current president, Pence
might even have policies and plans that wouldn’t fit into 140 characters.

Does anyone else wonder when the GOP is going to get it that they are
the ones colluding–in making all of us a laughingstock in the world at large that is?  Not to mention that leaving a country of nearly 350 million citizens unattended for several years probably isn’t going to work out well.

 

Whiny Trump Turning Out To Be Crybaby In Chief


Jeez, isn’t everyone getting tired of Trump’s constant whining and
complaining?  Far from being the strong and energetic leader we were promised, he’s turned out to be “Crybaby in Chief”. Wah, wah, wah “it’s not fair” is his less than stalwart battle cry. It’s so embarrassing to the country.

And at the recent summit, when all the other heads of state walked, sissy-boy Donald Trump had to be hauled around in a golf cart because he was too fat, lazy and out of shape to keep up with his more fit–and mostly elderly–world leader colleagues. Mortifying!  For us that is.

Mr. Trump, here’s a bit of wisdom Mom imparted to me when I tried
that same lame ploy (“It’s not fair!”) long before I even entered
kindergarten. “Life isn’t fair and the sooner you learn that the better off
you’ll be. Now go to your room until you can behave.”

Somebody, please, send Trump a binkie and a blankie to help him cope with
his monstrous inadequacy.

So far it appears that the only member of the Trump retinue/administration
who is actually ready for political prime time is Melania. And she looks
ready to bolt any day now.

Shakespeare, not Nostradamus Predicted Trump


How did the History Channel staffers miss this one? They’ve zeroed in on
extraterrestrials, and uncovered Nostradamus’ hidden codes and the bible’s.
(I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before they realize that it was
extraterrestrials who gave the Vikings the stuff & info they needed to
conquer most of the known world.)

But they totally failed us re: Shakespeare’s hidden prediction about Trump
in, of all places, Macbeth. I weeded out the chaff and came up with ol’
Will’s hidden message to us from the late 16th century (or possibly the early
17th).

…but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more….an idiot, full of sound and fury
signifying nothing.

C’mon, ya know that’s Trump to a “T”. You’re welcome Mr. Shakespeare.
Glad to give credit where credit’s due. You were spot on buddy.
Unfotunately.

 

Carpe Diem Young Journalists–Now Is Your Chance for Glory


I’ve been fretting for some time about how few opportunities there are for young journalists and journalism students to sink their chops into something really meaty and write about something meaningful.  In the first place they exist in a journalistic environment which is more froth than beer.   And, of course, if they are active journalists with a media outlet, they only get to work on what they are assigned rather than what they may want to pursue.  Puff pieces are the name of the game in the establishment media.

But recent events and the corrosive corruption which are exploding in our society’s public life present a rare opportunity for young millenial investigative journalists.  I’m hoping they’ll smell blood and pounce on the stories with the ferocity and energy which only the young have in abundance.  Their complacent elders are tiptoeing around and walking on eggs like fearful weenies, hamstrung by their bunker mentality.  Those old media whores are too chicken to do this.

Come on brave millenial journalists!  Young people are always supposed to long for glory and a chance to show what they’re made of.  Here’s your big chance.  I know you can sniff out the green, rotting meat of dangerous conditions and unworthy politicians undermining our democracy.  You know how to dig into real in-depth research.  You have the internet, where Woodward and Bernstein were limited to actual on-the-ground sleuthing.

This is some really ugly s— coming down in our governance.  Expose it.  Please. There are a ton of us out here who will be pulling for you, and cheering you on.

Go to it.  Because your flaccid, sedentary,  scaredy cat elders aren’t likely to do it.  They have kids and mortgages.  They play it safe.   You don’t have to.  Bare your fangs.  Un- sheath your claws.  Lay back your ears and raise your hackles. Dig, dig, dig until your paws are bleeding and your claws are broken and worn.

Here’s you chance for lasting journalistic glory.  You can do it!  I have the greatest confidence in your ability to rise to the occasion. (And the greatest scorn for your sissy journalist elders.)   Hup, hup get off your asses and jump into the fray for the truth.

We’re starving out here–for courage,  honesty, substance and real facts, instead of opinions.  Sink your fangs in, grab the truth by the throat and shake it until it stops shape-shifting.  Then drag it back to the cave, carve it up and serve it to a grateful nation.

Will Trump’s Castrati–His Male Appointees–Get Their Balls Back When They Leave W/H?


So I’ve been wondering–will all the Trump administration’s neutered
males–Priebus, Mattis, Kelly, Tillerson, Spicer, et. al.–get their balls back
after they leave office?  (Okay, Spicer and Priebus probably never had any,
but what about the rest?)  And where are those testicles stored anyway?  (Al
Gore’s lockbox?)  Or were they just thrown out with the rest of the trash?

Granted, most of the castrati are so old that they probably weren’t using
those balls for much anyway, except possibly to scratch occasionally, for
old times’ sake.  But the way these guys let Trump humiliate them suggests
that whatever manhood they still possessed had to be checked at the
metaphorical door to their new positions, as a condition of employment.

Some of the president’s paid lackeys used to have some pride, sense of self,
and independence.  Now they’re just a sad, pathetic bunch of saluting,
heel-clicking old castrati who have apparently sold their manhood
for–what?

Still, it could be worse. Über sack-shrinker Hillary could have been elected.
Just the sound of her voice is enough to make a red-blooded male’s testicles
ascend to the refuge of their owner’s thorax and huddle behind the ribs in
fear.  There’s no guarantee she would even have hired any manly men anyway.

It’s gonna be a long four years.

Hey, You GOP Old Farts–It’s Not the 1950’s Anymore


So GOP senate majority leader Mitch McConnell wouldn’t let Sen.
Elizabeth Warren read something into the record during the senate debate
on racist Jeff Sessions’ confirmation as Attorney General.  Of course, male
senators were allowed to read the same document–a Coretta Scott King
letter–without being shushed.  Now everyone’s outraged.

Shame on you people!  Everybody knows women have no business
speaking about politics in the presence of men.  It’s about time women
re-learned their place.  Haven’t you heard Kinky Friedman’s song Get
Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed?

Didn’t you outraged people see the 1956 movie “Giant” with Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson as husband and wife?  In the movie Taylor’s character, Leslie, is from Virginia and used to discussing politics.  When she marries a rich Texas rancher, she finds out what happens to women who don’t know their place.

There’s a scene where she joins–or tries to–the men in a gabfest about politics and everyone is shocked, shocked.  She is dismissed from the room and sent to bed by her knuckle-dragging troglodyte husband.  Yeah, she’s publicly humiliated, by her own husband, for not knowing her place.

But that was back in the ‘50’s.  Most people thought we’d gotten past that
sort of suppression of women.  They apparently haven’t realized–although
it is dawning on them now–that the 1950’s is where most of the old farts in
the GOP hierarchy live.  (That would be the grumpy old fart white guys.)

The GOP must have missed that massive women’s march the day after the
Trump inauguration.  They were probably busy nursing their hangovers and
yelling at kids to get off their lawns.

Ummm, you may have missed something else you surly, contemptible GOP
hierarchy but…brace yourselves…women are allowed to vote.  Yeah, it’s shocking but, calm down, rest a momentm and have another whisky and soda.  It’s earth shattering but, yes, women are actually allowed to vote Que lastima!

We all know you doddering old guys heading up the GOP aren’t not much for critical analytical thinking, preferring kneejerk obedience to someone else rather than thinking for yourselves.  But, just try to connect the dots–both of them. (C’mon, I know you don’t like math but you can do this; it’s only two dots for cryin’ out loud.)  Millions of women marched. Women vote in higher numbers than men.

Do you think women forget grievances? (Husbands and boyfriends, help
the GOP old farts out on this one.)

Are you aware, GOP sexists, that there will be elections in the future?

Can you extrapolate?