Category Archives: mass mrder is NOT a sport

Trump Would Have Run In and Taken Out the Parkland Shooter? Seriously?

Since we’ve all seen that the best pace our tubby president can muster is a slow waddle, his boast is only partly plausible.  Assuming that he’d been there and actually taken any part in an attempted rescue of the children under attack in Parkland, I think it would have played out something like this.

The most charitable interpretation of what Trump might have done had he been near the massacre is that he’d have charged along on his golf cart, waddled down a hallway or two looking for an elevator rather than taking the stairs, (out of the question).  Then, exhausted, he’d have slumped against a wall wheezing from the effort of walking any farther from his golf cart than his usual distance.  That would normally be between his cart and where his ball lies on a fairway or green.

Of course, he’s never demonstrated a scintilla of courage in all the years he’s been braying on our TV screens, long before the Russians put him up to running for president.  (Coercion or bribery, inquiring minds want to know–but no icky details, please.  Some of us have weak stomachs.)  So it seems improbable that he would have done a damn thing.

But he would have said he did.  In his demented brain the two are seemingly the same.   (What really happened and what he said–after the fact– happened would not, in a million, billion years actually be the same. )

Yeah, I can see him zipping along in his golf cart, hair flying, bald spot showing, rolls of fat jiggling, racing away from any possible danger as quickly as possible.   Just like Fearless Leader of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame, our cartoon of a president would have made us laugh.

Or would have if it weren’t for the gruesome fact that real children were dying, their internal organs and bones being blown apart because no one–NO ONE–except the brave Coral Springs police officers, a few teachers, and the children themselves showed any courage at all during the horrific tragedy.

So zip it Mr president.  At this point we’d all probably be satisfied if you would just stop fooling around, tweeting, bragging, stuffing your face with KFC and Big Macs, and actually put in a day or two of actual work at your job.

But we know that’s not gonna happen.


Advice for Assassin Wannabes

While it’s kind of shocking that some idiot in Virginia opened fire on a
bunch of legislators playing baseball, sudden gun battles and maniacs with
weapons blazing are hardly an uncommon occurrence for many Americans.

Now, suddenly, for those lawmakers caught in the crossfire, they get it.
This is what it’s like to have innocent fun turn deadly because some
unrelated third party decides they have a grievance that just has to be
ameliorated by blood sacrifice. This is what it’s like for many inner city
dwellers who have to navigate free fire zones all the time.

One can only hope that, having come so abruptly face to face with mortality,
our congress will clean up its act a bit. Be a bit more civil. Stop the name
calling and hate speech. (Ya could do with a few less conspiracy theories
too, you right wingers.)

And, not to be unsympathetic to all the shooters-to-be out there, but, if ya
feel you just gotta shoot someone–how about starting with yourself?