Category Archives: pop culture wars

Why KKK Folks Choose to Wear Dunce Caps


It’s always been something of a mystery why any group would voluntarily
pick dunce caps as part of their official uniform. But the KKK chose
long ago to include that traditional insignia of stupidity as emblematic of
their beliefs and world view.

Now, after the last few days, it’s obvious why they made that choice. They revere ignorance, stupidity and brainless violence.  They celebrate it.  They obviously want to present themselves to the world as dummies and dunces because they are proud of it.

Nothing says “duh, I’m an idiot” like voluntarily wearing dunce caps–in public no less.  It sends a message all right–that is, that they like being dumb and ignorant. They don’t just approve it, they actually applaud it.  They work at it.

Here in America I suspect that under normal circumstances the KKK has
nothing to do with most of our lives.  Their kind of living isn’t even on our
collective radar screen.  Or at least it wasn’t until the last few days.

That’s changed.  They have pushed their unwanted, ugly ways into our
lives.

When the KKK’s demented knuckledraggers say they “will take back our country” what they really mean is that they want to take our country, and the values “we the rabble” hold dear, away from us.

Too bad.  It’s not “their” country to take.  It belongs to all of us, whether they like it or not.

F–k them!  They can’t have what belongs to all of us.  Maybe we’re the ones who should “take back our country” from the altRight, the nazis and the KKK.   Maybe they need to find someplace else to practice their backwards ways.  Maybe we should confine them somewhere so they can’t continue disrupting and infecting our public life.

I hear Alcatraz is empty, and difficult to escape.

There ya go KKK boys and girls. I’ve found the perfect spot for you.

No, no, don’t thank me.  Glad to be of help.  Now, please–leave!

And BTW, KKK, Jesus does NOT love you.

What would Jesus say?  “Crush them like the icky bugs they are..”

 

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All Reality Is Not Virtual


As a committed post-modern dinosaur, I have never tweeted, been on
facebook, LinkdedIn, reddit, or any other social media site. There are no
apps, devices or any other means of “syncing” an information flow in my
world.  My laptop is the whole ball of wax, device-wise.  I know not of
interacting online with groups of people. I just don’t get it.  But, clearly,
time has passed me by and I am officially irrelevant.

Twitter wars and their prominence among “news” stories in the media seem
mystifying.  Reading or watching stories about this phenomenon also seem
pretty funny.  All these characters with their thumbs flying, being egged on
by “news” reports, conjure up an image of a bunch of weenies engaging in
what amounts to electronic slap fights.  Hunched over their tiny devices, do
those engaging in the exercise actually believe it is the equivalent of some
sort of gladiatorial warfare?  I think they do.

Forget it folks, you’re not Russell Crowe, you’re Arnold Stang.

Tip: your busy thumbs are not the full extent of your physical
capabilities. You can get up and walk, talk to live humans in person, see
“real” things with your “real” eyes, feel the sun and wind, experience “real”
life firsthand.  Yeah, it’s kind of uncomfortable, but, probably good for ya.

See, if you’re confining yourself to virtual reality, your non-virtual
musculature and body parts are withering from lack of use and exercise. Your
overly active imaginations, seeing yourselves as some sort of latter day
cultural warriors are a bit over the top.  Okay, delusional.  There is such a
thing as “real” reality y’know.

It all seems hilarious to me, but with a looming downside which is apt to
wind up affecting all of us, including the ones who don’t tweet or who have
thoughts which won’t fit into 140 characters. People seem overly focused
on what’s being said on Twitter. The lazy media, too slack to actually go
out and find real news to report–well except for Richard Engel, Ben Weideman, Ivan Watson, et. al.–can just open up their devices, have a donut
peck out a thin story about what other people are doing in 140 characters,
and think they’ve reported the news.

I actually saw one of the former Fox News blondes, in full raccoon-eye
makeup, say recently, with the most earnest look, that “When the President
tweets, we have to report on it.”  No. You don’t. “News” is not confined to
what comes out of Donald Trump’s thumbs or mouth. Stuff is
happening–important stuff–out in the “real” world. If you work for a news
media organization, you and your colleagues are supposed to be telling the
rest of us about it.

And the putative “news” cable channels are ridiculous. MSNBC runs
non-stop Lock-up programs on the weekends, presumably because “real”
news doesn’t actually happen on weekends. CNN similarly doesn’t do
much live reporting on the weekends.  Possibly it’s because the “reporters”
don’t work weekends. But if you want your media company to be considered a
news organization, then you actually have to report real “news”.  Trust me,
there’s lots going on in the real world on weekends, despite what cable
news channel programmers think.

MSNBC also hired a guy, Brian Williams, who was fired for lying, to do an alleged news show. Why? Somehow his presence on the roster is supposed to increase the network’s credibility as a news network!  How does that work?
Has Mr. Williams dropped his habit of lying?  Sorry, I’m not buying it.

CNN has a morning “news” anchor who’s just a Fox News re-tread yakking
it up five mornings a week. Sorry, I’m not interested in FoxNews’ sloppy
seconds. Don’t hire a media whore and trot her out as a serious journalist,
and expect me to forget what she did before.

The ancillary world of internet trolls is similarly mystifying. Aren’t they
just what we used to call busybodies? Perhaps we should more accurately refer to them as E-busybodies instead of trolls.

The whole notion of spending hours just looking for something to be pissed
off about seems pretty unhealthy. Long ago I decided, when being overly
critical of others, that I’ll try to hold off on that until I’ve perfected me.
There’s a ton of work to be done there, so I’m not holding my breath about
when I can get back to telling everyone else how they should live their lives
and what choices they should make.

Meanwhile, I see that our president is meeting with Vlad Putin this Friday.
What has Vlad been tweeting about lately? I’m all agog with curiosity.

I’m also wondering what future archaelogists will make of the skeleton remains of all the tweeters out there.  “There seems to have been a popular cult which flourished tens of thousands of years ago which focused on those with very large thumbs.  Perhaps that characteristic was considered as beauty.  At this point, we just don’t know but all indications are that genetic thumb mutations became a socially desirable physical attribute at some point in the past.  That culture disappeared and we can only conjecture what might have happened to wipe it out.”

 

Carpe Diem Young Journalists–Now Is Your Chance for Glory


I’ve been fretting for some time about how few opportunities there are for young journalists and journalism students to sink their chops into something really meaty and write about something meaningful.  In the first place they exist in a journalistic environment which is more froth than beer.   And, of course, if they are active journalists with a media outlet, they only get to work on what they are assigned rather than what they may want to pursue.  Puff pieces are the name of the game in the establishment media.

But recent events and the corrosive corruption which are exploding in our society’s public life present a rare opportunity for young millenial investigative journalists.  I’m hoping they’ll smell blood and pounce on the stories with the ferocity and energy which only the young have in abundance.  Their complacent elders are tiptoeing around and walking on eggs like fearful weenies, hamstrung by their bunker mentality.  Those old media whores are too chicken to do this.

Come on brave millenial journalists!  Young people are always supposed to long for glory and a chance to show what they’re made of.  Here’s your big chance.  I know you can sniff out the green, rotting meat of dangerous conditions and unworthy politicians undermining our democracy.  You know how to dig into real in-depth research.  You have the internet, where Woodward and Bernstein were limited to actual on-the-ground sleuthing.

This is some really ugly s— coming down in our governance.  Expose it.  Please. There are a ton of us out here who will be pulling for you, and cheering you on.

Go to it.  Because your flaccid, sedentary,  scaredy cat elders aren’t likely to do it.  They have kids and mortgages.  They play it safe.   You don’t have to.  Bare your fangs.  Un- sheath your claws.  Lay back your ears and raise your hackles. Dig, dig, dig until your paws are bleeding and your claws are broken and worn.

Here’s you chance for lasting journalistic glory.  You can do it!  I have the greatest confidence in your ability to rise to the occasion. (And the greatest scorn for your sissy journalist elders.)   Hup, hup get off your asses and jump into the fray for the truth.

We’re starving out here–for courage,  honesty, substance and real facts, instead of opinions.  Sink your fangs in, grab the truth by the throat and shake it until it stops shape-shifting.  Then drag it back to the cave, carve it up and serve it to a grateful nation.

Tillerson on TV Being Led on Leash by Russian Foreign Minister


So I saw the Russian Foreign Minister on TV with a Putin poodle, AKA
Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. The Russian thug, Sergey Lavrov,
sneered at the media and copped an attitude then led Tillerson away on his
leash. I guess Tillerson hasn’t been completely trained yet because he was
at heel on the wrong side of Lavrov. Dogs at heel are supposed to walk quietly on
their lead slightly behind the left leg, not the right.

It’s okay Rex, you’ll get fully trained soon enough. Do ya miss your balls?

What an insult to the American people to have the surrogate for Trump’s
Russian master, Putin, treat our media like that in our own country.  I guess
the Russians don’t even need to pretend to be our equals anymore.  (Actually they have never been so in reality, only in their own estimation.)

I wish they’d go ahead and release the pics of Russian hookers peeing on
Trump (ick, no, double ick!) and get it over with.

Remember the book “Advise and Consent” (by Allen Drury) which had the
then-unthinkable premise that Russian agents had infiltrated the highest
levels of American politics and government?  I guess Vladimir Putin read it too.

Can you say “President Pence”? C’mon Congress, get on with the
impeachment. It’s not as if you’re busy doing anything except being on
vacation and dodging pissed off constituents.

BTW, where does the Tea Party stand on having our president bowing and
scraping to a damn brutal dictator, formerly head of the KGB?  What’s that
sound I hear? Why it’s scumbag Joseph McCarthy spinning in his grave.  (Which is actually a good thing.)

Remember that old book “None Dare Call It Treason” by some ultra right winger John Stormer?  It seemed ludicrous  back in the day.  Now, not so much.  People are starting to call Trump’s subservience to Putin treason.  For a reason.

Trump’s Putin Phone Call–Best Phone Sex Ever?


It’s pretty clear Trump has some sort of man crush on Putin. (Was it the
topless pic on horseback where Putin flashed his man-boobs that started it
all?)  Trump’s like a giddy schoolgirl the way he keeps finding excuses to talk
about the object of his fascination.  Tough luck Michael Flynn, Putin’s goin’ to the prom with the Donald, not you.

So, anyway, when Trump finally got to talk to the Russian dictator what I wonder is–was it good for ya Donald?  (Please, no icky details, a simple yes or no will be sufficient.)  Was it like everything else is with you–the bestest, most wonderfulest, super duper ever?   Was it the best phone sex ever?

But, just to remind us all why Trump won, Hillary popped up again only a few days ago, beating that same old, “everybody’s pickin’ on me” drum she loves to pound.  She was still whining in that bandsaw voice.  Wah, wah, wah. It was misogyny, it was Comey, it was…fill in the blank.  Here’s a tip–most people don’t want excuses, they want results.  When you always need an excuse, there is no excuse.  You’re a loser plain and simple.

Here’s what it really was.  You and your ninny staff were true to that old stereotype about women being lame at math.  Y’all couldn’t do simple arithmetic.  Just as in 2008, you couldn’t add up the number of electoral college votes you needed and work to secure them.

Ya didn’t even go to Michigan!  You just expected that your compelling story–“it’s my turn and I don’t have a penis”–would automatically win the female vote.  Apparently Madeline Albright’s tone-deaf remark that there should be a special place in hell reserved for women who don’t help other women put the exclamation mark on your sexist expectations.  Thinking that Trump should be discriminated against because he does have a penis maybe wasn’t the best rationale on which to hang your power-hungry hopes.  Gender discrimination cuts both ways.

And you foolishly assumed black people would automatically vote for you because they supported Obama so overwhelmingly.  Did ya think they’d forget the racist stuff you & Bill slathered onto the national conversation in the 2008 election?  Here’s another tip–black women aren’t necessarily all that fond of white women.

Jeez, lady, because of your unprofessional staff, classified information showed up on serial dick-pic flasher Anthony Wiener’s computer.  No problem there, eh?  And he was supposedly flashing underage girls.  Yeah, because of you classified information wound up on the same unsecured computer used to distribute porn to children.  Do you see any potential security problems with that?  No rush, give it some thought while you’re channeling Gollum and muttering about how your “precious” was stolen from you because of that mean Mr. Comey and misogynistic men.

Sure, we appear to have wound up with a commie cabal that’s wired in at the White House.  But Trump’s just another disappointing old fart white guy being faithless with the electorate.  Nothing new there.  If it had been Hillary, the fallout when she failed–as she has so often, despite her clueless cheering squad–would have been “See what happens when ya let a woman have power”.  She would have poisoned the well for all women for years to come.  Hillary’s an out of touch loser who can’t take responsibility for her own behavior.

With Trump all we have to worry about is the commies who hate us and would love to harm our country.  And, of course, his mystifying and kinky masochistic crush on a vicious dictator who never stops trying to harm the U.S.

Of course I could be wrong–I am, after all, a post-modern dinosaur– but I still think it’s Putin’s man boobs that have the Donald all a-twitter with commie praise.

 

 

 

 

A Solution for Arkansas


There’s an obvious solution to Arkansas’ problem finding a humane drug to execute its death row inmates. Jeez, it’s all over the news these days. And it’s one people voluntarily take for their own amusement, so it can’t bee too cruel.

How hard would it be for Arkansas to score some heroin on the street and just use that? Seems like a win, win to me. If taking human life can be considered a “win” that is.

Cheap, easy to obtain, no manufacturers’ complaints, and humane.

No, no, don’t thank me Arkansas. You should have thought of this yourselves.

Hey, You GOP Old Farts–It’s Not the 1950’s Anymore


So GOP senate majority leader Mitch McConnell wouldn’t let Sen.
Elizabeth Warren read something into the record during the senate debate
on racist Jeff Sessions’ confirmation as Attorney General.  Of course, male
senators were allowed to read the same document–a Coretta Scott King
letter–without being shushed.  Now everyone’s outraged.

Shame on you people!  Everybody knows women have no business
speaking about politics in the presence of men.  It’s about time women
re-learned their place.  Haven’t you heard Kinky Friedman’s song Get
Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed?

Didn’t you outraged people see the 1956 movie “Giant” with Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson as husband and wife?  In the movie Taylor’s character, Leslie, is from Virginia and used to discussing politics.  When she marries a rich Texas rancher, she finds out what happens to women who don’t know their place.

There’s a scene where she joins–or tries to–the men in a gabfest about politics and everyone is shocked, shocked.  She is dismissed from the room and sent to bed by her knuckle-dragging troglodyte husband.  Yeah, she’s publicly humiliated, by her own husband, for not knowing her place.

But that was back in the ‘50’s.  Most people thought we’d gotten past that
sort of suppression of women.  They apparently haven’t realized–although
it is dawning on them now–that the 1950’s is where most of the old farts in
the GOP hierarchy live.  (That would be the grumpy old fart white guys.)

The GOP must have missed that massive women’s march the day after the
Trump inauguration.  They were probably busy nursing their hangovers and
yelling at kids to get off their lawns.

Ummm, you may have missed something else you surly, contemptible GOP
hierarchy but…brace yourselves…women are allowed to vote.  Yeah, it’s shocking but, calm down, rest a momentm and have another whisky and soda.  It’s earth shattering but, yes, women are actually allowed to vote Que lastima!

We all know you doddering old guys heading up the GOP aren’t not much for critical analytical thinking, preferring kneejerk obedience to someone else rather than thinking for yourselves.  But, just try to connect the dots–both of them. (C’mon, I know you don’t like math but you can do this; it’s only two dots for cryin’ out loud.)  Millions of women marched. Women vote in higher numbers than men.

Do you think women forget grievances? (Husbands and boyfriends, help
the GOP old farts out on this one.)

Are you aware, GOP sexists, that there will be elections in the future?

Can you extrapolate?