The Vatican Artifact I’d Most Like to See


At the Battle of Hastings, on October 14, 1066, King Harold II (Godwinsson) of England and William II, Duke of Normandy led opposing armies in the bloody conflict which irretrievably changed the course of European history and put an end to Anglo Saxon rule in England forever.

Now King Harold was a total dick.  His army was already exhausted from just having engaged and killed Harold’s own brother Tostig Godwinsson, Duke of Northumbria a few weeks earlier on September 25, 1066 at the Battle of Stamford Bridge.  Then they had to make a forced march to get to the Hastings battlefields, which was actually at Senlac.  (Busy, busy, busy.)

The Normans, led by the furious Duke William, won, after Harold’s army (all infantry) broke their shield wall formation and chased the Normans, when they appeared to be retreating.   Once the English were scattered the Normans’ mounted knights picked them off,  one by one.  Had they simply stuck to their commander’s plan, the outcome might have been different, but, they lacked discipline.

Now, the battle flags/standards were important accoutrements.  William’s battle standard had been personally consecrated by the pope.

Harold’s battle standard was reportedly a magnificent one, woven–possibly by his own mother, Gytha–with silver and gold thread and encrusted with precious gems.  It was captured during the battle.

After Duke William won the battle, he immediately sent the captured standard of King Harold to the Pope, because it was to God that William attributed his victory.  Or, at least, he gave lip service to that notion.

So I was wondering if that battle standard is stuck away somewhere in the papal archives. Even though the popes didn’t start living in the Vatican per se until the 14th century, there must have been a continuous repository for all the snazzy stuff the popes had collected over the centuries and which eventually came to rest in the Vatican archives.

The Vatican Secret Archives weren’t actually built until the 17th century if I remember correctly. But once created surely everything must have been catalogued and an inventory must surely exist.

So what I would really love to see is a photo of that battle standard, if it still exists.  If I could see only one thing from all the vast treasure of the Vatican, it would surely be that battle standard.

Enquiring mind wants to know.

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Trump Would Have Run In and Taken Out the Parkland Shooter? Seriously?


Since we’ve all seen that the best pace our tubby president can muster is a slow waddle, his boast is only partly plausible.  Assuming that he’d been there and actually taken any part in an attempted rescue of the children under attack in Parkland, I think it would have played out something like this.

The most charitable interpretation of what Trump might have done had he been near the massacre is that he’d have charged along on his golf cart, and maybe–maybe–waddled down a hallway or two looking for an elevator rather than taking the stairs, (out of the question).  Then, exhausted, he’d have slumped against a wall wheezing from the effort of walking any farther from his golf cart than his usual distance.  That would normally be between his cart and where his ball lies on a fairway or green.

Of course, he’s never demonstrated a scintilla of courage in all the years he’s been braying on our TV screens, long before the Russians put him up to running for president.  (Coercion or bribery, inquiring minds want to know–but no icky details, please.  Some of us have weak stomachs.)  So it seems improbable that he would have done a damn thing.

But he would have said he did.  In his demented brain the two are seemingly the same.   (What really happened and what he said–after the fact– happened would not, in a million, billion years actually be the same. )

Yeah, I can see him zipping along in his golf cart, hair flying, bald spot showing, rolls of fat jiggling, racing away from any possible danger as quickly as possible.   Just like Fearless Leader of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame, our cartoon of a president would have made us laugh.

Or would have if it weren’t for the gruesome fact that real children were dying, their internal organs and bones being blown apart because no one–NO ONE–except the brave Coral Springs police officers, a few teachers, and the children themselves showed any courage at all during the horrific tragedy.

So zip it Mr president.  At this point we’d all probably be satisfied if you would just stop fooling around, tweeting, bragging, stuffing your face with KFC and Big Macs, and actually put in a day or two of actual work at your job.

But we know that’s not gonna happen.

“Bwana” Donnie Jr. “Likes” Parkland Shooting Denier Hate Tweets


“Bwana” Donnie Jr. Trump, big game hunter and useless lump of protoplasm, is the rotten apple that didn’t fall far from his father’s twisted tree. He’s always had plenty of time on his hands, having nothing better to do than ride the coattails of daddy dearests. A lot of that time has been spent gunning down hapless prey for no better reason than that he likes to kill.  So it’s no wonder that he didn’t see anything wrong with a bunch of kids being gunned down in a Parkland, Florida school.  Wild prey, kids, what’s the diff, right?  It’s all good, as the saying goes.

Now Bwana Donnie doesn’t realize he’s an ambulatory piece of trash. People have always bowed and scraped to him, not because of any inherent quality (relative term) but because people want to curry favor with his creepy daddy. Daddy bragged on tape about the joys of serial sexual assault and how he could get away with it because he’s a star (also a relative term). So you can kind of see where Bwana Donnie got his twisted and unrealistic sense of self and entitlement.

But even for this empty vessel his latest behavior is off the charts awful.

An even dirtier dirtbag, Lucian Wintrich, referring to the Parkland shooting victims and survivors, on the website Gatweway Pundit, tweeted that “[M]any of these other students are being used as marionettes by the far left and deep state because they were able to run out of a building.  There is no credibility there and it’s disgusting to watch.”

Yeah, all they did was run out of a building.  One wonders how Mr. Wintrich would tweet after he had occasion to run for his life from someone with a gun.

That tweet was disgusting enough but the real outrage is that the entitled twit Bwana Donnie “liked” the tweet via a Twitter link.  (Maybe Eric really is the smart one.)  Yes, the hopelessly empty-headed son of the President of the United States actually liked a tweet that called the Parkland massacre survivors people who just ran out of a building.  No kidding.

What would he have to say, or tweet, if it were his kids who had to run for their lives or, even worse, were left lying on the ground bleeding or dead.  I doubt he’d be so flip about that.

The Trump family is, plain and simple, hopelessly low class.  You can dress them up, you can teach them to use the right fork, but they will never be “A list” people.  Yeah, you can dress them up but ya sure can’t take them out in public.  They will embarrass themselves every time.  And they probably don’t even know it.

I believe Bwana Donnie, is even worse than the face-biting cannibal from South Florida.  At least the cannibal had the excuse of being crazy and high on drugs.  But you, Bwana Donnie, you’re just a useless waste of oxygen along with the rest of your godforsaken immediate family.  (Some of the other Trumps, like Donad Sr.’s sister for instance,  are actually productive, decent citizens who refrain from such dreadful behavior.)

What would Jesus say?  “Hell is way too good for you people.”

 

Florida Legislature Votes for Child Murder


As a South Florida native, I’m well aware of the historically venal, greedy and stupid louts who traditionally populate our legislatuve bodies. There are no heroes in that sordid mass of useless flesh and lard. It’s not uncommon for the legislature’s “leaders” to go straight from office to prison.

But even by their own corrupt and cowardly standards, they’ve hit a new low.  The Florida GOP lawmakers, one and all, voted the interest of their owners and donors and refused even to consider or bring to the floor any legislation which might anger the National Rifle Association (NRA).  They couldn’t care less that 17 people, mostly kids, were blown away in six minutes by gunfire in their shcool.

They no doubt enjoy stout protections against intruders into their sacrosanct halls.  That would be protections against someone with an automatic weapon or a gun.  How pathetic is it that they will not pull their snouts out of the trough from which they feed long enough to consider protecting children–who are sitting ducks in unsecured schools–from hails of rapid fire bullet assault.

Even for Florida this is disgusting.  When the children invaded Governor Rick Scott’s office they were told that he was “too busy” to see them.  Then his office said he was at a funeral.  I don’t believe that for a minute.

At least it’s not as bad as the coterie of White House no-talents who, having had a bad couple of weeks due to their own self-induced chaos, rponounced themselves “relieved” that scrutiny was shifted from their feckless incompetence to the mass murder and maiming of a bunch of kids.

Yeah, profiles in courage at the White House too.  “Relieved” that children being ripped apart by bullets shifted attention from them and their inability to govern.

I want to throw up.

And tourists, keep in mind, Florida is a lawless free fire zone.  There is no safety within our borders.  There are no responsible “leaders”.  Would you want to put your kids, on vacation, at risk in a dreadful place such as the Sunshine State?

What would Jesus say?  “Suffer the children.”  And, “hell is way too good for you Florida legislature scumbags”.

Who Wants to Harm FBI? Criminals, That’s Who. D-u-u-uh!


Yeah, it’s not rocket science.  The FBI protects us all–from some really bad, bad stuff.  So why would President “Fat Donnie” want to kneecap the agency?

Years ago I used to fence saber against an FBI agent–generally unsuccessfully.  We never discussed politics, religion, his work, my work, or anything else very much.  We just fenced saber, sometimes in parking lots if there wasn’t any better venue available.   I had to get an elbow guard because his damn passing attacks were just beyond me to stop or even partly parry.  No quarter was given or expected.  It was more like street fighting than fencing.  That whole “right of way” stuff was by the boards.  It was more like “kill or be killed”.

It was brutal.  And fun!

And it was helpful in one notable incident.  Some street thug came up and threatened me in St. Thomas when I was carrying one of those collapsible umbrellas that you can put in your briefcase.  This thug had just followed six St. John women down the waterfront, screaming abuse and threatening them.  So I followed him because it looked as if things might get out of hand.  (Those dumb women were just encouraging him by fleeing and acting scared.)

They scooted into a coffee shop and the guy turned around and saw me.  He started getting in my face.  So I gave him two quick, hard saber cuts across the face with the collapsed umbrella.  It had to hurt, but it wouldn’t really do any damage.  That shut him the hell up.  It was the last time he bothered any of us St. John commuters when we got off the downtown ferry.

But one time my FBI fencing opponent  did say “You think you know what bad is.  You don’t.  And you don’t want to know.”

I believed him.

There was a secret obstacle course up in the hills of St. John that another local athlete had set up specifically for extreme training.  He said FBI agents from Puerto Rico worked out there.  He introduced me to a couple.  One day I was in the gym in St. Thomas lifting weights.  I walked into another room & these guys were lifting enormous poundage.  No one else was in the room and one of them said quietly “Nobody knows who we are here”.  I knew what he meant, didn’t speak or even pause, just turned around and walked out and did toe raises on a different machine instead.  Whenever I saw them around I never spoke, looked at them or away from them, just did not in any way betray that I’d even seen them.  Because I knew they probably weren’t on vacation.  They were working–on serious stuff.

The Caribbean’s a real dangerous place.  All of these FBI guys were the kind you’d be glad to have in your foxhole–if you weren’t a coward or dead weight as far as fighting capability.  I wouldn’t want them in my foxhole if I was a f–k-up though.  They seemed like the kind of guys who might toss you out if you couldn’t hold up your end of the foxhole.  These were clearly very dangerous people.

I mention this because the sliming, derision, and maltreatment of the elite law enforcement agency, the FBI, by Fat Donnie Trump, mini-him Jeff Sessions and other Russian apparatchiks is doing great harm to all of us.  Not to mention, it’s sooooo lowdown.  They do not deserve this s–t.

To digress for a moment–even though I’m told that Jeff Sessions is actually the Keebler elf, I think he’s more like an orc that was once an elf until evil got its hooks into his tiny carcass.

Sessions seems intent on incarcerating and/or destroying anyone who purveys, profits from, or benefits from legal medical (or legal recreational) marijuana.

Why?   The obvious answer would be that Sesions wants to help Mexican drug lords protect their profits from illegal weed.  And they want to help him limit legal alternatives to their illegal products.  Just how much do “we the rabble” know about where and from whom Jeff Sessions got campaign donations when he was foolishly running for president.   (Even our eclectic voters had to know the country would never hold still for being governed by another species.  Sorry, no orcs for president.)

What other logical reason presents itself?  How hard would it be for those vicious drug cartels to funnel donations to the little weasel?   Does Sessions seem like the kind of guy to turn his nose up at the prospect of wads of dirty cash?  He’s a beggar from a beggar state that the rest of us subsidize to the tune of $2.46 for every dollar of federal tax revenue from Alabama.  Having one’s hand out is a way of life there.  You do the math.

And Trump and the rest of his Russian-financed cabal, uh, I mean consultants, seem more determined to get rid of anyone who stands between him and a willing patsy who would fire Robert Mueller to put an end to his investigation of Fat Donnie’s favors from Putin.

Was Fat Donnie was doing something more troublesome in Russia than having prostitutes pee on him?  Like, oh, say, mega money laundering maybe?

The FBI badasses–and they are that, despite their buzzcut hair styles and 1950’s dress code–are desperately trying to keep the likes of Fat Donnie and his apparatchiks from dismantling our democracy forever.  They have their hands full just trying to keep track of all the hoodlums in the White House and in Fat Donnie’s circle of questionable cohorts.

My hypothesis is that Putin bought outright or extorted Fat Donnie to run for president.  Fat Donnie’s his man, bought and paid for.  He was specifically recruited by Putin, who helped him get elected, for the purpose of damaging our democracy and thus limiting the power of Putin’s most powerful opponent.  At least that’s my working hypothesis.  (I suppose I could possibly be wrong.)

And, I think maybe real law enforcement men like Robert Mueller and the FBI agents (AKA real men) are Fat Donnie’s worst nightmare.  He can’t slime them out of the picture as he does most of his enemies.  He can’t lie them away, he can’t buy them off.  They are dogged and relentless and they know the difference between real facts and truth from made up BS peddled by our decidedly unmanly, waddling president, Fat Donnie.

You can blow all the farts out of your mouth that you want Fat Donnie, it won’t save you.  Real men (and women) of the FBI are comin’ for you and the rest of the crooks.

My money’s on them for finding the truth.  Who knows, truth might even be stranger than fiction.  Maybe Fat Donnie will be exonerated.  But I doubt it.

Whose side are Fat Donnie and Sessions the Keebler Orc on?  Not “we the rabble” that’s for sure.

Was It Worth $100K-$250K for (Eric) Trump Appearance?


So there was supposed to be this big–hyooooge, in fact–bash at Mar-a-Lago to celebrate Trump’s one-year-in-office anniversary.  Trump would play the conquering hero to the adoring crowd of Trumpettes and other awe-stricken lumpenproles in a pricey paean to his wonderfulness.  (The Trumpettes are a group of die-hard female Trump supporters who openly celebrate their white privilege instead of denying that it exists as dem women do.)

The cost to attend was reportedly between $100,000 and $250,000 per couple (the latter figure being for the swells who wished to participate in a patricians-only discussion of some sort).

Except the government shutdown interfered.  The president had to stay in Washington.

But it was okay.  There was a substitute Trump appearance.  Eric.  He may have given a speech.  I wasn’t on the guest list.

But had I been, well, the bait and switch would not have gone unremarked-upon.  I would argue that a picture with Eric Trump pretending to know me would not have been of equivalent value to a photo of his father pretending to know me.  Yeah, that was supposed to be the big payoff for attendees–a photo with the leader of the free world.

Instead they got a photo-op with his kid whose main achievement in life so far has been lugging his father’s DNA around and passing it on to some offspring.

For this guests were expected to take their tiaras out of the safety deposit boxes?   Eric Trump?  Why that’s hardly even worth a factotum’s time to go and pick up the baubles from the vault, let alone the price of  ladies’ costly couture, groomers’ time, glittery footwear and other essentials for a look at me, look at me social event in Palm Beach.

Yeah.  $100K – $250K.  Eric Trump.  No kidding.

Money well spent, no?  No!

What would Jesus say?  “Hey kid, you ever hear the one about the camel passing through the eye of a needle?”

Bannon Congress Testimony Sets Up WH for Witness Tampering, Obstruction of Justice


So Bannon stuck it to Trump yesterday–1/16/2018–in his testimony before the House Intelligence Committee.  According to the news (??) Bannon testified that Trump, or his staff, told him (Bannon) not to talk about lots of things which would not be considered protected–if anything is–by executive privilege.

Supposedly Bannon was ordered not to talk about anything discussed during the transition from candidate to president, or anything that happened while he wa employed at the White House, or just about anywhere or anytime else.

Presumably when Robert Mueller’s staff asks Bannon about those presumptive non-cooperation instructions ol’ Steve will have to admit, oh so reluctantly,  that, yes, he was told not to cooperate.  By the White House.

And thus, Bannon delicately sowed the seed(s) of vengeance.  Now the rest of us just have to wait for it to rain and we’ll see what icky blooms pop up as a result.  And, BTW, just who actually transmitted that order?  Why it wouldn’t be Gen. John F. Kelly would it?  Why he’s unassailable, right?  Right?