Tag Archives: corrupt ministers

Throwing Shade in Rouen in the Middle Ages


Well, actually it wasn’t just insults,–for poor ol’ John I, Archbishop of
Rouen, it was insults and rocks.  Now, when reading about the Middle
Ages, there’s no avoiding the pervasive role piety and religion allegedly
played in life at all levels of society.  Then, accounts of real life events make
for a clearer understanding of how that actually worked out in real time.

John I Archbishop of Rouen (1067 – 1078, previously Bishop of Avranches)
was “animated with a lively zeal for virtue”.

Not everyone was appreciative.  Volume II of Orderic Vitalis’ “Ecclesiastical History of England and Normandy,” mentions John “taking severe measures to separate incontinent priests from their concubines; and when in a synod he
prohibited their intercourse under pain of excommunication,” (he) …”was assailed with stones, and forced to make his escape, on which occasion when flying from the church he intoned with a loud voice the verse:

” God, the heathen are come into thine inheritance.”

What would Jesus say?  “Be fruitful and multiply.” ?  Nope.  “Hey.  Cut it out!  No throwing rocks in the house!”

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“Lock Her Up” “Have him flogged” “Lock Her Up” “Have Him Flogged”


To the humor impaired:  This is satire.

Q.  What Do Donald Trump and King Henry II of England Have In Common?

A.  They both made remarks that were construed as hinting that they’d sure appreciate it if someone would get rid of a political opponent, and then gave passive aggressive responses to the resultant firestorm of criticism.  (”Whaaat?” “Was it something I said?” “I was just kidding.”)

Maybe King Henry II’s voluntary penance (flogging) for his faux pas of seemingly wishing for political assassination could be extended to Mr. Trump as well.   Think of it.  It’d be a huge media event that would entertain millions.  The Donald would get tons of attention, which he seeks as resolutelyly as Diogenes, the ancient Greek with the lantern who was unendingly searching for an honest man.  Maybe the pros would outweigh the cons for the ever-surprising Mr.
Trump and he’d agree to the gaudy spectacle.

Henry II was famous for his rages when anyone opposed his will.  After his best bud, Thomas a Becket became Archbishop of Canterbury the two had a falling out over the separation of Church and State.  They had a huge fight about it and in 1164 Thomas ultimately had to scoot to exile in France, where he remained for six years.  (King Henry was really pissed off!)  Eventually, in 1170, Henry and Thomas were reconciled and the archbishop returned to England.  But it was an uneasy truce.

Only a few months after Thomas returned to Canterbury, the two were again at
loggerheads.  The precipitating issue was whether Church or State had judicial authority over clerics.  Apparently many monks had been overly frisky, some even murderous.  Thomas believed only the pope had any authority over religious matters and denounced some bishops during his mass on Christmas Day, 1170, which was interpreted as him excommunicating them.   Henry wanted them reinstated, because he maintained that the clerics’ misdeeds were up to the State to punish (or not).   Thomas said no.

Henry was, as usual, enraged when he didn’t get his way.  He was, in France at the time,  and huffed “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?” or something along those lines.  Four of his knights were only too happy to oblige their liege lord.

The knights crossed into England and raced for Canterbury.  On December 29, 1170 they caught Becket at the cathedral saying Vespers.  They carved him up. Literally.  The crown of Becket’s head was cut off.   One of the knights delivered a crushing blow to the prostrate Thomas’s head, spilling his brains out right in front of the altar.  Ick!  Even for a king having an archbishop’s brains squashed out at a cathedral’s altar was way too over the top.

So Henry was forced to agree to do penance, which included being publicly flogged by the monks of Canterbury, in the cathedral.

Even though, fortunately, no one took the Donald up on his provocative solicitation of violence, there are plenty of people who’d still love to see him publicly flogged.  It could be done at St. Edward’s Catholic church in Palm Beach–there’s plenty of parking behind nearby Green’s drugstore. (Finding parking is a real problem in Palm Beach.)

Mr. Trump ‘s handlers could sell the idea to him by focusing on the linkage between him and a king.  Yeah, the Donald in sackcloth and ashes, the Catholic priests whaling on him (the Episcopalians at Palm Beach’s Bethesda by the Sea church might go too easy on protestant Trump) cameras rolling, media flacks gabbling like excited geese–it would be the event of the election season.

Maybe some RNC members could be induced to join the floggers.  Catholic Paul Ryan would go for it, and Reince Priebus might be all in as well.   Maybe it could be a bi-partisan fund-raiser for charity.  MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough and
Mika Brzezinski could be the fair and balanced moderators. (Or maybe Stephen Colbert would be a better fit–he’s Catholic.)  It would be awesome theater.

And it would give Democrats an answer to the Republicans’ chant of “Lock her up”.   Dems can start start chanting “Have him flogged”.

Somebody, please, start a petition to have the Donald do penance the Henry II way.   Pretty sure it would garner the number of signatures required for the White House to address it.  President Obama, always a good sport, would probably be okay with it.

What would Jesus say?  “Flogging doesn’t sound so bad compared to what I had to do to save your damn souls.  Go for it.”

Say Hallelujah.  This is an idea whose time has come.

WTF?


Here are a few things I came across recently while doing searches on the internet. There’s little need for embellishment by me because, as we all know, sometimes ya just can’t make this stuff up.

chicken flavored nail polish by KFC

international cup stacking champion

Caitlyn Jenner posing nude for sports illustrated

FWC officers find alligator foot in dashboard, issue citation

From Yahoo news:  “Oklahoma Officials Reject Obama’s Directive on Bathrooms, Declare State of Emergency”

No kidding.  State of Emergency.  Now I think that the new bathroom rule is foolish and ill-advised.  It puts millions of women and girls potentially at risk–because we all know men and boys can get a little crazy when it comes to looking at women and sexual arousal–for the sake of less than 1% of the population.  You just know some idiots are gonna be taking pictures to show their friends and put on their social media accounts.  But “state of emergency”?  Maybe a sense of proportion–on both sides of the issue–is in order.

from Yahoo 2016 05 10 Entertainment
‘Captain America: Civil War’ post-credits scenes: Everything you need to know
(Seriously? There is nothing I need to know about any post-credit scenes.  Ever.)

“The 17-year-old, Madison Cox, who was crowned Miss South Carolina Teen International 2015, was arrested earlier this week on multiple charges of counterfeiting and forgery,Chief Carl Long from the Duncan Police Department told InsideEdition.com.”

Her offense was that she forged excuse notes for missing class.  Seriously?  A 17 year old was arrested for forging excuse notes for missing class?  Multiple counts of counterfeiting?  Maybe we should have let the South secede.  And people think Joe Arpaio is excessively ardent in sticking it to those who commit misdeeds.

What would Jesus say to that?  “Suffer the children.”

Here’s my favorite.  Some guy on the board of directors of a Florida homeless coalition listed himself as an “Apostle”!  No kidding.  Don’t believe me?  Go to http://www.sunbiz.org choose “search our records” and type in Desoto County Homeless Coalition.  “Apostle”.  No kidding.   Does that count as evangelical fraud?

 

 

All the News


Well the morning news has me, to borrow a phrase from our President’s 2008 campaign, all “fired up and ready to go”.  Go take a nap, that is.  The only bright spot was that John Huntsman, in a moment of rare political candor, called pastor Jeffresse a “moron”.  Jeffresse is the sanctimonious twit who called Mormonism a “cult”.  Y’know, I wonder how these narrow minded religious folks square the fact that they supposedly think Jesus is God’s manifestation on earth–one of God’s three aspects if my schooling by another cult, the Catholic Church, is correct–but then they are constantly second guessing their :Lord.  Who by extrapolation of Jeffresse’s church doctrine created everybody.  So that would imply, would it not, that Jesus as perfect God created the very people Jeffresse is slamming.  Sooo, Jeffresse is saying that God’s not perfect?  Is that it?  Ummm, isn’t that heresy for a born-again Christian?  And, also according to what their bible says, God liked all His little critters, and the neat stuff He created, and supposedly said that He thought His work was good.  So why are His supposed true believers always trying to change people who think differently than they do, when their own God created them and thought they were just fine?  Hmmm?  Why is that?  You’re goin’ to hell, Jeffresse, for bad mouthing God.  Who, from what I hear, has something of a temper.  Say hallelujah!

What would Jesus say?  “Zip it you morons.”

On a different and far less elevated plane, there’s the Floriduh legislature.  Keep in mind, Floriduh is a notoriously trigger happy state.  Just recently a 96 or 97 year old grandmother blew away her nephew with a .357 magnum according to an article in the Palm Beach Post.  No word on whether she used hollow points.  I think she’s been jailed for it, and it’s not funny, even if it sounds so at first because, a man is dead.  But another article which I read today in the Post, (“Police, Chamber Sergeants Prepare for Policy Allowing Guns in Florida Capitol”) although it’s widely reported elsewhere as well, talks about Florida’s new gun law.

The Florida legislature enacted a law that says only they have the right to enact gun laws and rules and anybody who does differently can kiss their rosy red patooties (I’m paraphrasing here), and pay a $100,000 fine.  The law says anyone with the right permit can carry their gun(s) into any public place, with one exception.  Wherever the Florida legislature meets.  No guns allowed where our goober legislators are meeting.  Hypocrisy and stupidity–once again, we have synergy!  Is this where ya say “hoo rah”?

Actually, I’m in favor of the law because ya need to be able to protect yourself in Florida.  In case you hadn’t heard, there are a lot of nutcakes roaming the state, and many of ’em are locked and loaded.

And speaking of those gun owners ya see strutting around in front of TV cameras and bragging about how the gubmint ain’t gonna push them around, they can always resort to “second amendment remedies” well, they’re delusional.  Have they seen the kind of weapons the gubmint has at its disposal?  The little pissant AK-47’s and Mac 10’s the “patriots” are sporting wouldn’t last five minutes against the stuff our soldiers can bring to bear on any armed revolt the second amendment folks decide to start.  Everybody should have the guns they need or want for personal protection and hunting.  That’s fine.  But let’s just hope the poor souls don’t kid themselves into thinking they’d have a prayer against a real live army.  ‘Cause they ain’t gonna outgun the gubmint.  That ship has sailed long since.  They wouldn’t have a prayer.

And speaking of prayer, I hear that when Jesus comes back, all those bible totin’ hellfire and damnation folks say he’s bringin’ an army with him.  Why?  Well, look what happened last time.  He got tortured to death.  No wonder he’s gonna be locked and loaded too.  What’s he got to say about his perfect little critters with the firearms?  “Prince of Peace?  Very funny.  Hell, Dad, those people are dangerous!”

And finally, there are a bunch of articles on Yahoo today about how our governor, Rick Scott has weighed in on how and why he wants to cut billions from education.  (And he knows a thing or two about how to spend billions.  The HCA of which he was CEO, was fined a record setting $1.7 billion–with a “b”– for the Medicare and Medicaid fraud it perpetrated under his tenure.)  Why cut billions from education?  Because who needs an educated population?  They’re not as easily duped, defrauded and ripped off as uneducated people working their butts off for minimum wage.

And what’s he gonna cut?  All those sissy academic disciplines that “don’t add much to the state’s economy”.  Liberal Arts classes and liberal arts schools, such as the perennially-on-the-list-of-best-colleges-in-the-country, New College of Sarasota.  Yep, Rick’s a deep one alright.  What’s the liberal arts’ claim to fame?  They teach people to think.  People who think increase payroll costs because they tend not to work for minimum wage.  That’s not good for the state’s economy.  So they’ve gotta go and their bogus academic disciplines with them.   Shoo.  Scat.  Get outa here.  We don’t need no stinkin’ thinkers in this great state.

Yeah, that’s the news.  Fetch me the digitalis.  On second thought, ice pick, please.  Time for the self administered lobotomy I’m always talkin’ about.  Gonna stick that ice pick into the frontal lobes and stir so I won’t be able to think either.  Gov.  Rick would approve.  In fact, I think he’s already tried it.  ‘Cause he sure doesn’t seem to think.  About anything but money, that is.

Come, Let Us Prey


I was looking up a questionable educational institution’s accreditation and learned about accreditation mills when I came across a funny article,  GREAT MOMENTS IN ACCREDITATION http://www.quackwatch.org/04ConsumerEducation/dm3.html THE CASE OF IAC, ACI, AND THE THREE STOOGES, by John Bear, from University Business Magazine, March 2000.  Briefly, because Mr. Bear makes it much funnier with details, the International Accrediting Commission, (IAC) opened up for business in Missouri and began supplying accreditation to educational institutions–diploma mills.  In 1989 the Eastern Missouri Business College applied for accreditation, naming a faculty that included Arnold Ziffel, Eddie Haskell, M. Howard, Jerome Howard and Lawrence Fine, i.e. the pig from the TV series, “Green Acres”, Wally Cleaver’s smarmy friend Eddy, on “Leave It to Beaver”, and the Three Stooges.  There were a lot more obviously bogus features which would have raised a red flag to a genuine accreditation agency.  The guy who created the school was actually an Assistant Attorney General, and as soon as the IAC accepted money and accredited the college an injunction was issued and they had to leave the state.  Whereupon the IAC immediately took itself hither to Beebe, Arkansas and resumed accrediting diploma mills.

Now I came across this story because a friend was thinking about doing some work for a bible college in rural Florida, the president of which referenced the IAC when she asked about its accreditation.  So I was asked to check it out.  And came across Mr. Bear’s hilarious but also sad, tale of the accreditation mill.  Now the friend had already met with the President of the bible college, who represented himself as a Doctor of Divinity.   So of course, my polite–and curious–friend asked where he’d gotten his doctorate.  To which the college President answered, he didn’t remember!  Not kidding, didn’t recall where he’d gotten his degree.  No red flag there.

However, his assistant came up with the name of the institution, Therapon College, a diploma mill formerly located in the U.S. Virgin Islands, where, as it happens, I have friends.  So I called one of them up and asked if he’d ever heard of it.  No, but he called Therapon and talked to the “President” of the college who quite cheerfully admitted there was no college, it was just a phone number, they didn’t even live in the Virgin Islands anymore, and they provided on-line classes–which credits were not accepted at other institutions of higher learning–for degrees.  And Therapon was also accredited by an accreditation mill, but a different one.

Now, this bogus rural bible college my friend was asked to do work for, accredited by the accreditation mill, doesn’t actually have a campus.  Most of its “classes” are on-line.  And they are marketed to people in India and the Philippines.  And those folks abroad pay for those courses thinking–well I don’t know what they’re thinking.  And the President with the bogus doctorate goes to India and the Philippines to–well, I’m not sure what he does there but I’m guessing bank accounts are involved.  And of course I can’t help but wonder if this holy man reports all that income to the IRS.  Because it sure seems like he might have a crackerjack opportunity to launder money and evade taxes.  If he weren’t so holy, that is.

And, you can even go to his bible college’s website and order stuff with the school logo on it.  You can get clothing that touts the school’s “undefeated” athletic team.  Which, technically it is.  Undefeated, that is.  Since there is no campus, no team and therefore, no defeats.  Say hallelujah!

And a graduate of that bible college in Florida, was representing herself to be an ordained minister in a small rural town.  Because she’d gotten her bogus “degree” from the bogus President of the bogus college, who’d gotten his bogus degree from Therapon, and he’d ordained her to boot  Boy howdy–as they say in the South–that woman minister used the name of the Lord like punctuation.  Not a sentence came from her mouth but what Jesus was referenced.  (What would Jesus say?  “Y’know I can hear you don’t you?”)  And she was busy as a bee doing holy work.  She was supposedly serving the homeless, and using grant funded office space gratis for her “ministry” which consisted of her yapping to people about how holy she was and trying to get them to give her money and do stuff for her for free.  The office equipment paid for with grant funds for the homeless was in her home for a long time and she was using it for her business, um, ministry, until she used grant funds to rent an office from a guy who she was hitting on.  After that she used that office gratis for her own business, um, ministry.  Thanks taxpayers.  Jesus sent ya.

And there were grant funds for homeless people–to pay for utility deposits, rent, stuff like that.  Except the holy minister lady didn’t have time to actually get around to getting those funds to the homeless, who were living in the fields and on the streets.  In the summer the heat is unbearable in that area and the mosquitoes are ever abundant and always hungry.  It’s hellish being outside at night in that area.  But she liked to go to meetings, instead, to talk about how holy she was.  And Jesus, who must have been getting an earful.

Now she managed to find a developer/consultant who said he could raise funds and build a homeless shelter.  And this woman asked for help with an application she wanted to do but wasn’t really able to complete.  She needed information about that developer/consultant for it.  But the contact person, his partner or cohort, wasn’t easy to get in touch with but supposedly had a well documented past as an executive director of a housing authority up north.  So I looked him up.  And the first thing that showed up in the browser search was his status as a convicted felon, a sex offender who’d been found to be keeping hundreds of child pornography images on his office computer at the housing authority.  It was discovered while his agency was being audited by HUD because millions of dollars were either unaccounted for or had been misappropriated to a for profit development company he’d formed using the housing authority as a front, um, I mean a related fiduciary entity.  He didn’t get to stick around for the whole audit though–which found out about the misappropriation and missing money, but didn’t necessarily find where it went–because he was busy being convicted for kiddie porn on his office computer.

And the firm he worked for, or was partner in, it’s not clear exactly what the formal relationship between he and the developer is, brags on its website about his 25 years of experience as an executive director of the housing authority.  And they’re going around to all these small rural communities and counties in the Glades area around Lake Okeechobee and impressing them with their combined experience and selling them on the idea of having both a for-profit and non-profit housing development company to build affordable housing using the pedophile’s and the developer’s expertise.  Except the financing scheme they’re pushing–and getting funded from tax dollars–resulted in at least five housing projects developed and managed by the pedophile’s agency going into bankruptcy, and costing the tax payers millions.

The homeless shelter.  Please.  Of course it didn’t get built.  The grant funds?  Never heard what happened to ‘em, but did hear that the holy lady “minister” was collecting furniture for the homeless, to furnish the places she could have rented with the grant money except didn’t because she was too busy going to meetings and saying Jesus to anyone who’d listen.

And the developer, who’s from up north?  I came across an article about him.  He’s started developing more high end stuff in Southwest Florida. He’s working with another developer, who moved from Ohio because he “needed a change”.   We know what that means, here in Florida.  So I looked him up too.  The first thing that came up was an article in which he was promising to “fight the fraud charges”.

As the Bokononists used to say (in the Kurt Vonnegut novel Cat’s Cradle) “And so it goes”.

Come, let us prey.