Tag Archives: politics

Who Wants to Harm FBI? Criminals, That’s Who. D-u-u-uh!

Yeah, it’s not rocket science.  The FBI protects us all–from some really bad, bad stuff.  So why would President “Fat Donnie” want to kneecap the agency?

Years ago I used to fence saber against an FBI agent–generally unsuccessfully.  We never discussed politics, religion, his work, my work, or anything else very much.  We just fenced saber, sometimes in parking lots if there wasn’t any better venue available.   I had to get an elbow guard because his damn passing attacks were just beyond me to stop or even partly parry.  No quarter was given or expected.  It was more like street fighting than fencing.  That whole “right of way” stuff was by the boards.  It was more like “kill or be killed”.

It was brutal.  And fun!

And it was helpful in one notable incident.  Some street thug came up and threatened me in St. Thomas when I was carrying one of those collapsible umbrellas that you can put in your briefcase.  This thug had just followed six St. John women down the waterfront, screaming abuse and threatening them.  So I followed him because it looked as if things might get out of hand.  (Those dumb women were just encouraging him by fleeing and acting scared.)

They scooted into a coffee shop and the guy turned around and saw me.  He started getting in my face.  So I gave him two quick, hard saber cuts across the face with the collapsed umbrella.  It had to hurt, but it wouldn’t really do any damage.  That shut him the hell up.  It was the last time he bothered any of us St. John commuters when we got off the downtown ferry.

But one time my FBI fencing opponent  did say “You think you know what bad is.  You don’t.  And you don’t want to know.”

I believed him.

There was a secret obstacle course up in the hills of St. John that another local athlete had set up specifically for extreme training.  He said FBI agents from Puerto Rico worked out there.  He introduced me to a couple.  One day I was in the gym in St. Thomas lifting weights.  I walked into another room & these guys were lifting enormous poundage.  No one else was in the room and one of them said quietly “Nobody knows who we are here”.  I knew what he meant, didn’t speak or even pause, just turned around and walked out and did toe raises on a different machine instead.  Whenever I saw them around I never spoke, looked at them or away from them, just did not in any way betray that I’d even seen them.  Because I knew they probably weren’t on vacation.  They were working–on serious stuff.

The Caribbean’s a real dangerous place.  All of these FBI guys were the kind you’d be glad to have in your foxhole–if you weren’t a coward or dead weight as far as fighting capability.  I wouldn’t want them in my foxhole if I was a f–k-up though.  They seemed like the kind of guys who might toss you out if you couldn’t hold up your end of the foxhole.  These were clearly very dangerous people.

I mention this because the sliming, derision, and maltreatment of the elite law enforcement agency, the FBI, by Fat Donnie Trump, mini-him Jeff Sessions and other Russian apparatchiks is doing great harm to all of us.  Not to mention, it’s sooooo lowdown.  They do not deserve this s–t.

To digress for a moment–even though I’m told that Jeff Sessions is actually the Keebler elf, I think he’s more like an orc that was once an elf until evil got its hooks into his tiny carcass.

Sessions seems intent on incarcerating and/or destroying anyone who purveys, profits from, or benefits from legal medical (or legal recreational) marijuana.

Why?   The obvious answer would be that, for unfathomable reasons, Sessions wants to help Mexican drug lords protect their profits from illegal weed.  And they want to help him limit legal alternatives to their illegal products.  Just how much do “we the rabble” know about where and from whom Jeff Sessions got campaign donations when he was foolishly running for president.   (Even our eclectic voters had to know the country would never hold still for being governed by another species.  Sorry, no orcs for president.)

What other logical reason presents itself?  How hard would it be for those vicious drug cartels to funnel donations to the little weasel?   Does Sessions seem like the kind of guy to turn his nose up at the prospect of wads of dirty cash?  He’s a beggar from a beggar state that the rest of us subsidize to the tune of $2.46 for every dollar of federal tax revenue.  Having one’s hand out is a way of life in Alabama.  You do the math.

And Trump and the rest of his Russian-financed cabal, uh, I mean consultants, seem more determined to get rid of anyone who stands between him and a willing patsy who would fire Robert Mueller to put an end to his investigation of Fat Donnie’s favors from Putin.

Was Fat Donnie was doing something more troublesome in Russia than having prostitutes pee on him?  Like, oh, say, mega money laundering maybe.

The FBI badasses–and they are that, despite their buzzcut hair styles and 1950’s dress code–are desperately trying to keep the likes of Fat Donnie and his apparatchiks from dismantling our democracy forever.  They have their hands full just trying to keep track of all the hoodlums in the White House and in Fat Donnie’s circle of questionable cohorts.

My hypothesis is that Putin bought outright or extorted Fat Donnie to run for president.  Fat Donnie’s his man, bought and paid for.  He was specifically recruited by Putin, who helped him get elected, for the purpose of damaging our democracy and thus limiting the power of Putin’s most powerful opponent.  At least that’s my working hypothesis.  (I suppose I could possibly be wrong.)

And, I think maybe real law enforcement men like Robert Mueller and the FBI agents (AKA real men) are Fat Donnie’s worst nightmare.  He can’t slime them out of the picture as he does most of his enemies.  He can’t lie them away, he can’t buy them off.  They are dogged and relentless and they know the difference between real facts and truth from made up BS peddled by our decidedly unmanly, waddling president, Fat Donnie.

You can blow all the farts out of your mouth that you want Fat Donnie, it won’t save you.  Real men (and women) of the FBI are comin’ for you and the rest of the crooks.

My money’s on them for finding the truth.  Who knows, truth might even be stranger than fiction.  Maybe Fat Donnie will be exonerated.  But I doubt it.

Whose side are Fat Donnie and Sessions the Keebler Orc on?  Not “we the rabble” that’s for sure.


Bannon Congress Testimony Sets Up WH for Witness Tampering, Obstruction of Justice

So Bannon stuck it to Trump yesterday–1/16/2018–in his testimony before the House Intelligence Committee.  According to the news (??) Bannon testified that Trump, or his staff, told him (Bannon) not to talk about lots of things which would not be considered protected–if anything is–by executive privilege.

Supposedly Bannon was ordered not to talk about anything discussed during the transition from candidate to president, or anything that happened while he wa employed at the White House, or just about anywhere or anytime else.

Presumably when Robert Mueller’s staff asks Bannon about those presumptive non-cooperation instructions ol’ Steve will have to admit, oh so reluctantly,  that, yes, he was told not to cooperate.  By the White House.

And thus, Bannon delicately sowed the seed(s) of vengeance.  Now the rest of us just have to wait for it to rain and we’ll see what icky blooms pop up as a result.  And, BTW, just who actually transmitted that order?  Why it wouldn’t be Gen. John F. Kelly would it?  Why he’s unassailable, right?  Right?


Not Collusion–Maybe Putin Hired (Or Coerced) Trump to Run for President

My sainted Catholic Mom (to borrow a phrase from Gen. John Kelly) used to say that if there’s an obvious answer it’s probably the answer.

Putin was head of the KGB.  The head spook for one of the most repressive regimes of the 20th and 21st centuries.

Donald Trump is a careless person.  No telling what he was up to in Russia.  Money laundering seems to fit the data, among other things.  And he appears to be depraved.  For God’s sake the man bragged about sexually assaulting women on a regular basis.  We have his own word for it.  On tape.  Uh huh.  Bragging about sexual assault.   Who does that?

What else might he have been up to in a far away place where the pesky American law enforcement community is also far away?

And how hard would it have been for Putin to recognize the potential benefits of having a supposed American billionaire on the payroll.  Blackmail and extortion would surely be in Putin’s bag of dirty tricks.

Maybe Putin decided to throw the dice and put up his own candidate for the U.S. presidency.   Someone recently observed that Putin manages Trump as if he’s a KGB “asset”.   Maybe that’s because Trump is a KGB asset.

The data sure seems to fit the hypothesis.  The hypothesis?   Trump is a bought and paid for, or coerced, Russian “asset”.

That’s gotta be the spook coup of the century.


Alabama; Taker State Gets $2.46 for Every $1 Paid in Fed Taxes

Sooo, can it be true that we’re all subsidizing beggar state Alabama, which has its hand out to the tune of it receiving a 246% ROI (return on investment) from “we the rabble”?   Their investment?  Why it’s the pittance the poverty-stricken state actually pays in federal taxes.  No wonder they’re so “wut’less” as they’d say in the Caribbean.  It pays off bigly–to borrow from a well known serial chiseler–for Alabama to be a beggar.

When Alabama talks about draining the swamp, maybe we should say “You first”.

And to add insult to injury many of these folks wanted to send to the U.S. Senate a man so disrespectful of the U.S. Constitution that he had to be removed from the state Supreme Court in Alabama twice.  That was  because he was intent on enshrining his religion in public policy and spaces despite the pesky freedom of religion protections specifically enumerated in the very document he was sworn to uphold.   Last I heard he still hadn’t conceded either.

Soooo,  Moore presumably swore to uphold the Constitution.  He must  have had to in order to hold a position on the bench in the first place.  And then he refused to abide by that  oath.  Then, uuhhhh, doesn’t that make him de facto a liar at best, a seditious traitor at worst?

While everyone was focusing on his sexual antics Moore got a total pass on his repeated refusal to act, as a public official, within the constraints of the Constitution.  That seems a lot worse than hitting on teenyboppers.

There was an article in the news recently about Alabama having the highest poverty rate in the nation–equivalent to some third world countries.

Maybe if we stopped giving them so much for nothing in the way of other states’ tax dollars spent vs. Alabama tax dollars received, these folks would get their ass in gear and start working for a living.  Maybe we should make them pay their fair share.

Yes.  Why not take Alabama, one of the biggest welfare queens among the 50 states,  off the dole until their elected officials recognize the Constitution as a binding document and until they go to work?  No more freebies.

To quote from a famous “Nazi” on the old sitcom Seinfeld,  “No soup for you!” Alabama.

What would Jesus say?

“Get off your lazy butts.  Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, or hadn’t ya heard?”

Bannon Now Seems More like Snoopy vs Red Baron Instead of Barney Fife

So it’s never too late to admit it when you make a mistake. Mea culpa, I made a boo boo when, not long ago I compared that goofball Steve Bannon to Barney Fife of fictional Mayberry, RFD.

But as it turns out, no, Bannon’s way more ridiculous than that.  He’s Snoopy, sitting atop his doghouse, imagining he’s WWI flying ace “the Red Baron”.  When Bannon says he’s got his weapons back in his hands, it’s too funny.  I imagine Bannon with that bright red nose–and we all know where that comes from–like Rudolph’s, leading the imaginary charge, guns blazing, peering intently from atop  his little doghouse.

Those aren’t weapons, it’s just your limp dick you’re holding there, Bub.  Where’s the juggernaut that was supposed to sweep Bannon’s clients, like a backwards tsunami, into elective offices in Virginia and elsewhere a few weeks ago?  Oh, that’s right–it was a no-show.

Someone please tell Bannon he’s a laughingstock.  When he gets in front of the cameras, capering like a fool it is pathetic.  It’s like the ravings of your aged drunk uncle.

Don’t forget, the Charlottesville Statement, to which Breitbart, Bannon, et. al. bend their reverent collective knees, was written by a pagan, goat-blood-drinking, Florida lawyer/senate candidate.  Just sayin’.

C’mon white guys, I know you’re mad.  It’s been a rough few decades for you all to adjust to, and you’re still pouting about having to share power.  But who wrote all the rules in the first place?  Yeah.  White guys.  You did it to yourselves.  Now you have to share power.  No more unilateral decision-making.

But don’t follow this goofball.  He’s no “leader”.  He’s some rich dude’s paid butt boy.  Some gazillionaire named Mercer is said to own Bannon lock, stock and barrel.  That’s not a leader.  He’s the Grima Wormtongue of the GOP and it’s just a matter of time before everyone realizes it.

And he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about middle class white men other than what he can get them to do for his rich owner.

You deserve better.  Much better.

Corker and Flake–the John Carlos and Tommy Smith of the U.S. Senate

While it might have been predictable that Sen. Jeff Flake would stand up for abused and downtrodden Senators, who would have thought Bob Corker would be be one of the flaming reactionaries?  He seems so, well, non-entity-ish.

The pair strayed into famed Olympic protest territory, channeling those two legendary U.S. track and field athletes, John Carlos and Tommy Smith who gave the Black Power salute (black-gloved clenched fist raised in the air) on the medal stand.  (They were reviled, stripped of their medals, and banned from any further Olympic competition.)

The two disestablishmentarian pols,  Corker and Flake, astoundingly, have now refused to play the capering fool to feather their own congressional nests, opting instead for the high road and retirement.  What could they be thinking?

Regardless, the two Republican Cassandras are now permanently enshrined in my imagination, standing on the first and second place podium slots in their sweats (after doing a Paul Ryan gym workout, of course) white-gloved fists raised in protest, bravely bitching about the unequal treatment they are receiving at the hands of the executive branch.

Good for them.  It’s nice to know that there are some things too low even for a Senator.  Such as what they’d have to do to get elected as a GOP candidate in 2018.


Remember What Happened to Machiavelli

There seem to be a lot of Machiavelli wannabes floating around in the USA’s public life. The arcane–and to my thinking insane–plotting that’s always being referred to in the news seems to take place without regard to consequences.

These folks might wanna read some history.

Machiavelli wound up on the rack.  Robespierre the great orator who rabble roused the French into a revolution, had a smashed jaw and could no longer speak when he went to the guillotine.  His followers got to him before the executioner and after he’d over-promised and under-delivered regarding what would follow the revolution.

Keep it in mind, plotters. People quickly tire of inartful machination.  You’re overdue for a fall. And blindly following a guy with a nose like Steve Bannon’s is a fool’s errand.  There’s only one way to get a nose like that and all you ticked off white males know it.  This is not a guy to follow, he’s tainted. Green meat, not red, to borrow from Chris Rock.

Bannon, Breitbart, Spencer, and their ilk are sellin’ wolf tickets.  Y’know, the kind that can’t  actually be redeemed for goods or services, they’re just pieces of paper.

Faithless leaders of populist movements always wind up on the wrong side of their followers–because they stir folks up and don’t deliver.  Because they don’t have the power or wherewithal to deliver on empty promises, such “leaders” are always doomed to be destroyed at the hands of their followers.

Bannon, et al. should be damn glad that in 21st century USA disaffected followers just leave or possibly protest bitterly at being tricked. They don’t send their faithless leaders’ heads to the successor leader anymore, as was once the custom in medieval times.