Tag Archives: X satire/cynicismX current issuesX Is it just me or is t

All Reality Is Not Virtual


As a committed post-modern dinosaur, I have never tweeted, been on
facebook, LinkdedIn, reddit, or any other social media site. There are no
apps, devices or any other means of “syncing” an information flow in my
world.  My laptop is the whole ball of wax, device-wise.  I know not of
interacting online with groups of people. I just don’t get it.  But, clearly,
time has passed me by and I am officially irrelevant.

Twitter wars and their prominence among “news” stories in the media seem
mystifying.  Reading or watching stories about this phenomenon also seem
pretty funny.  All these characters with their thumbs flying, being egged on
by “news” reports, conjure up an image of a bunch of weenies engaging in
what amounts to electronic slap fights.  Hunched over their tiny devices, do
those engaging in the exercise actually believe it is the equivalent of some
sort of gladiatorial warfare?  I think they do.

Forget it folks, you’re not Russell Crowe, you’re Arnold Stang.

Tip: your busy thumbs are not the full extent of your physical
capabilities. You can get up and walk, talk to live humans in person, see
“real” things with your “real” eyes, feel the sun and wind, experience “real”
life firsthand.  Yeah, it’s kind of uncomfortable, but, probably good for ya.

See, if you’re confining yourself to virtual reality, your non-virtual
musculature and body parts are withering from lack of use and exercise. Your
overly active imaginations, seeing yourselves as some sort of latter day
cultural warriors are a bit over the top.  Okay, delusional.  There is such a
thing as “real” reality y’know.

It all seems hilarious to me, but with a looming downside which is apt to
wind up affecting all of us, including the ones who don’t tweet or who have
thoughts which won’t fit into 140 characters. People seem overly focused
on what’s being said on Twitter. The lazy media, too slack to actually go
out and find real news to report–well except for Richard Engel, Ben Weideman, Ivan Watson, et. al.–can just open up their devices, have a donut
peck out a thin story about what other people are doing in 140 characters,
and think they’ve reported the news.

I actually saw one of the former Fox News blondes, in full raccoon-eye
makeup, say recently, with the most earnest look, that “When the President
tweets, we have to report on it.”  No. You don’t. “News” is not confined to
what comes out of Donald Trump’s thumbs or mouth. Stuff is
happening–important stuff–out in the “real” world. If you work for a news
media organization, you and your colleagues are supposed to be telling the
rest of us about it.

And the putative “news” cable channels are ridiculous. MSNBC runs
non-stop Lock-up programs on the weekends, presumably because “real”
news doesn’t actually happen on weekends. CNN similarly doesn’t do
much live reporting on the weekends.  Possibly it’s because the “reporters”
don’t work weekends. But if you want your media company to be considered a
news organization, then you actually have to report real “news”.  Trust me,
there’s lots going on in the real world on weekends, despite what cable
news channel programmers think.

MSNBC also hired a guy, Brian Williams, who was fired for lying, to do an alleged news show. Why? Somehow his presence on the roster is supposed to increase the network’s credibility as a news network!  How does that work?
Has Mr. Williams dropped his habit of lying?  Sorry, I’m not buying it.

CNN has a morning “news” anchor who’s just a Fox News re-tread yakking
it up five mornings a week. Sorry, I’m not interested in FoxNews’ sloppy
seconds. Don’t hire a media whore and trot her out as a serious journalist,
and expect me to forget what she did before.

The ancillary world of internet trolls is similarly mystifying. Aren’t they
just what we used to call busybodies? Perhaps we should more accurately refer to them as E-busybodies instead of trolls.

The whole notion of spending hours just looking for something to be pissed
off about seems pretty unhealthy. Long ago I decided, when being overly
critical of others, that I’ll try to hold off on that until I’ve perfected me.
There’s a ton of work to be done there, so I’m not holding my breath about
when I can get back to telling everyone else how they should live their lives
and what choices they should make.

Meanwhile, I see that our president is meeting with Vlad Putin this Friday.
What has Vlad been tweeting about lately? I’m all agog with curiosity.

I’m also wondering what future archaelogists will make of the skeleton remains of all the tweeters out there.  “There seems to have been a popular cult which flourished tens of thousands of years ago which focused on those with very large thumbs.  Perhaps that characteristic was considered as beauty.  At this point, we just don’t know but all indications are that genetic thumb mutations became a socially desirable physical attribute at some point in the past.  That culture disappeared and we can only conjecture what might have happened to wipe it out.”

 

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No Disaster Aid for Texas


Not too long ago Texans were once again seen on TV blowharding about wanting to secede from the Union. But now there have been images of some pretty bad flooding in Texas in the past few days and I predict a change in their loudmoth tune.  Just watch–those treasonous assholes will have their grubby paws out
looking for disaster aid in a New York minute if they haven’t already done so.

They want to secede and be independent?  Then let them take care of their own disaster relief.  Why should the rest of us pay for it?  There are plenty of other things we could spend those funds on that don’t entail giving aid and comfort to our enemies–of which Texas has declared itself one.

Screw them!  I say freeze all their assets, cut them loose from the Union and then get out the popcorn and watch Mexico’s army roll across the Texas border and take their land–but only after we take all their stuff.  I guess we’d have to keep their oilfields somehow but haven’t quite figured that part out yet.  Yeah, there’s always a fly in the ointment somewhere.  But still–it’d be worth losing the oil to get rid of those folks.

 

a plague on both their houses


Hey!  News media!  What exactly do you imagine your function to be?  Aside from purveying drivia (drivel + trivia)  to keep “we the rabble” distracted, at some point aren’t you expected to provide some accurate information?  Then d’ya mind getting on it?

I happened to see a discussion on a putative news channel about the big repub debate.  Andrea Mitchell pointed out another incident wherein Michelle Bachmann either blatantly lied or was stunningly ignorant of a very simple economic issue on which she is permitted to vote in the House. Bachmann, who’s been in congress for three terms, was complaining to an interviewer about what a mistake it was to raise the debt ceiling.  Bachmann said it was giving the president a “blank check” for two point something billion dollars.  The interviewer said, no, raising the debt ceiling was just to pay for obligations already incurred, not new expenses.  And don’t ya know that cow, looking all sincere and pious, said that was just not factual.  Looked right into the guy’s eyes (or
the general vicinity–she’s got a bit of a geo-spatial orientation problem) and either lied through her photogenic teeth or else demonstrated that she was ignorant as dirt.  She casually spit that misinformation out just like some old codger lazing on the porch spitting tobacco juice into a Yoo Hoo bottle. Either way, you’d think she wouldn’t get a pass on such behavior.  But nope.  The news media (at least that’s what they call themselves anyway) doesn’t mind a bit.

Even more infuriating, after pointing out the exchange to some guy who was part of Mitchell’s subsequent discussion about that interview, (presumably a news media type) Mitchell asked him (paraphrasing here) if Bachmann hadn’t erred.  The guy said, yeah, but it’s a lie that most republicans would agree with.  As if, somehow, that makes it okay.  And Mitchell just moved on as if it were no big deal.  Yeah, a presidential candidate either blatantly lied or else was ignorant as dirt about a pretty basic detail of how the government’s finances work, neither of which are a big plus in a national leader.  No biggie, right?

Say, Mitchell, Mitchell, the name sounds familiar.  Didn’t she used to be a journalist?  Had some funny looking husband who was always saying stuff that sounded like Peter Sellers in the movie “Being There”?  Well, anyway, she didn’t think enough of her viewers to pursue the issue.  Maybe she assumes we’re all dumb too.

And even more daunting to contemplate, now we are all going to have to listen to that phony blowhard, Rick Perry grandstanding over his piety and faux patriotism too.  He rails about government bailouts, wasteful spending, etc.  Can’t go two minutes without mouthing off about how awful it is.  He excoriated some amorphous (commie/socialist maybe?) group never actually identified, about the very notion of the stimulus, let alone the actual fact of it, which he represents as just about downright sinful.  .Did ya know he balanced the Texas budget?  Yaps about it all the time.  Guess how he did that?  Accepted $6 billion in federal stimulus funds.  Yep, we the people gave that hypocrite $6 billion of our hard-earned money and not only did he never even say thanks, he lambasted us for doing so.  Biting the hand that feeds you seems to be in these days.

Even worse, like many phonies who want something, Perry goes on and on about how holy he is.  Even had a flop of a pray-in.  (C’mon Ricky, show us your sanctimony!  Just a peek?)  He wasn’t quite as forthcoming about some of the evangelicals who were grandstanding, uh, I mean supporting, the event.  One of them has repeatedly said that the reason the Japanese stock market fell was because the emperor had sex with the Sun Goddess.  No I am not kidding, that joker really says that.  Another one swears that Oprah is a harbinger of  Armageddon.  (Oprah, you bad girl!)  There were others who espouse equally ludicrous positions.

And apparently these guys, collectively, are part of a new apostolic reformation, or at least that was reported last week.  No kidding. The one who thinks–or at least says–the Sun Goddess got it on with the Japanese emperor proclaims himself to be one of the new apostles. (What would Jesus say?)  Ummm, doesn’t that seem a bit presumptuous?  Sure, people pad their resumes a bit, but…apostle?  Come on.  What seems amazing is that I haven’t seen or heard of any blow back from more traditional evangelicals, or other Christians.  Uh, isn’t that blasphemy to proclaim
oneself an apostle?  Besides, as a practical matter, last I heard all those positions had long since been filled.  Regardless, these are the people who are supporting Rick Perry and who pushed his pray-in.

Not enough to turn you queasy yet?  Try this?  Perry is on record as supporting secession.  Gee that last Civil War thing worked out so well for the South, why not revisit the issue?  A hundred years of being ground into the dirt, incredible economic hardship, not to mention all the blood that was spilled–yeah, let’s do it again!   Big fun!  But, wait a minute.   Isn’t calling for secession a treasonous act?  Or at least sedition?  Again, not really what most folks would consider prime presidential behavior.  Sure, let’s elect someone who is on record as wanting to destroy the Union.  Good plan, should work out just dandy for the rest of us.  What could go wrong?  Get on board and ride that train right off the rails.

And the news media, vis à vis Rick Perry?  Swooning and falling all over themselves to push his candidacy.  There’s only one person who’s even mentioned the merry band of new apostles he’s flaunting.   A handful mention the secession thing, but blow it off as inconsequential–a tiny flaw in an otherwise oh-so-telegenic candidacy.   He wouldn’t really do that, would he?  Famous last words.

And, BTW, I am neither a democrat or a fan of the democrats.  They turn my stomach as well.  But they just don’t seem quite as crazy, quite as vicious, or quite as dangerous to the rest of us as the republicans just now.  They certainly never got our credit rating downgraded as the antics of the terrorist freshman tea party congressmen did.   Man, just like the 19 jerks with the boxcutters who tanked our economy in 2001 (blew up our stuff, killed a bunch of our countrymen, remember?) these characters are having negative effects on all of us far out of proportion to their small but noisy numbers.  A teensy little bit of protoplasm gone awry and, boom, there we all are, having to take the consequences, possibly for years to come.

Who’s worse, the candidates or the nitwit media types who countenance the blatant lying, anti-Americanism and downright dangerous political plans of people who make no bones about wanting to destroy our government but still want to be in positions of power?  In keeping with the biblical genre of the presidential campaign…a plague on both their sorry-ass houses.